Strangest/Funny Tannoys

[Damo]

lossie

lossie

Lossie 2006

A Rather amusing tannoy from air tragic

"emergency state 2, 202sqn chopper 4 P.O.B .... Tail fallen off".

Que lots of confused faces.:raf:

 

[MAINJAFAD]

there is a dog in the fire section".

Same message happened at St Mawgan in early 1991 after a Fire Alarm and FIRE, FIRE, FIRE. followed by "there is a Dog in the fire section, I say again, there is a Dog in the fire section". I was in the JRM at the time and there were a lot of confused faces, followed by lots of laughter 10 seconds later when the following tanony stated "Correction to the last broadcast, there is a fire in the Dog Section".

 

[J Y Kelly]

Lossie 2006

A Rather amusing tannoy from air tragic

"emergency state 2, 202sqn chopper 4 P.O.B .... Tail fallen off".

Que lots of confused faces.:raf:

A fair description of the problem.

 

[camelfeet4]

The Navy has the last laugh

The Navy has the last laugh

I went on a resettlement course (all right a skive) to Plymouth. It was in the Navy base, and boy do they take things seriously! I was given a bed on the third floor of the acomodation block, (on dry land).One morning, whilst lying in my pit, the following message came over the tannoy "All hands on deck! All hands on deck, crews report to muster stations!" Don't they know the difference between dry land and the wet stuff? Well apparantly, not, because a few of us decided to go into town. So off we went through the main gates, only to be stopped by some bright red Petty Officer, jumping up and down, accusing us of going ashore and not using the gang-plank! Some one had to much of the rum ration?

 

[Mustang]

Strangest/funniest tannoys

Strangest/funniest tannoys

This is not entirely appropriate to this thread, however, JY Kelly`s entry and photo provoke 2 thoughts:
1. CFS (H) anyone?
2. A mate of mine, a Chinook techie, once said " a helicopter is a machine designed to shake itself to pieces". Not wrong!DT_Xtremez_28:

 

[Damo]

A fair description of the problem.

The Jockey was a women, i always knew they could'nt parkDT_Xtremez_06:

 

[TheHogwartsBEngO]

This is not entirely appropriate to this thread, however, JY Kelly`s entry and photo provoke 2 thoughts:
1. CFS (H) anyone?
2. A mate of mine, a Chinook techie, once said " a helicopter is a machine designed to shake itself to pieces". Not wrong!DT_Xtremez_28:

off topic

"A helicopter is a triumph of engineering over common sense."

DT_Xtremez_28:

 

[supersquip]

Though not s Stn tannoy per se, but does anybody remember the bloke who used to do the call to prayer at the mosque across the road from the mess at AAS? He'd be chanting away, when all of a sudden, he's start coughing and spluttering into the microphone. It used to bring the whole RAF Det to their knees in laughter every lunchtime.

dont remember the cougth but aparently allah had the ball quite often in the morning !!

 

[supersquip]

best tannoy was whilst i was doing trade traning at cosford few of the lads dismantled the tannoy speaker in the block started playing music and slagging off various people etc thinking the broadcast was being heard in just the block all good fun until some one ran across from the props club saying this stuff was being brodcast all around the camp including the bar !!

 

[FOMz]

Kandahar - Mullah calling the masses to payers (and possibly calling out the co-ordinates)

(leeeeeeffffffftttttttt a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttt)

Followed by a rocket attack that night.

Made me laugh every time.

 

[Lord Azrael]

RAF Kinloss, late 1990's. On the Supply squadron tannoy system, someone managed to constantly pull of a most authentic impersonation of Holly from Red Dwarf, starting with the 'bing,bong'. Not sure who it was, but it was great!

 

[Macammot]

Funniest Tannoy

Funniest Tannoy

There is a fire in the cess pit at 92 Sqdn

(Should have been There is a suspect fire at 92 Sqdn)

 

[stato]

......................

 

[FOMDude]

Wittering....early nineties......Air Traffic Control Supervisor...........

'Emergency state 2, Harrier GR5, cock in the smokepit.........errrrr.......smoke in the cockpit, inbound......' <click>

 

[PLC1966]

Wildenrath, back end of the 80's, a panicked Irish accent made a rather rapid tannoy to the Station from the PBX............

'Fire Fire Fire, theres a fire in the PBX.....'

didn't repeat the message as per SOP's though !



Then the same person at one time made a tannoy to the station, however they did not remember to switch the tannoy off, she then carried on her conversation with a pal, this was until you heard

'****.....I forgot to turn the....'

Wilders in he 80's, top place eh Sharon.

 

[genghis]

Well, this is a second-hand story, so I don't know where or when... or even if it's true or not!

On a camp with HAS's on, where each HAS had a comms terminal linked to the Tannoy system, a lone prankster, probably insanely bored at work occasionally transmitted "Are there any friendly bears out there?" on this system. Apparently, this went on for a good half our or so, constantly asking that question. Harry Staysh soon found out what was going on and got on the Tannoy "This is the Stn Commander, the person who is transmitting about the bears is to stop immediately. If you do not, you will be found and charged!"

A few moments later, the reply was transmitted: "He wasn't a very friendly bear now was he?"DT_Xtremez_42:

Made me laugh!

 

[Red-Rock]

Well, this is a second-hand story, so I don't know where or when... or even if it's true or not!

On a camp with HAS's on, where each HAS had a comms terminal linked to the Tannoy system, a lone prankster, probably insanely bored at work occasionally transmitted "Are there any friendly bears out there?" on this system. Apparently, this went on for a good half our or so, constantly asking that question. Harry Staysh soon found out what was going on and got on the Tannoy "This is the Stn Commander, the person who is transmitting about the bears is to stop immediately. If you do not, you will be found and charged!"

A few moments later, the reply was transmitted: "He wasn't a very friendly bear now was he?"DT_Xtremez_42:

Made me laugh!

Heard the very same quotes, not over a tannoy but over the net on a Harrier ex in 92. The Sqn Adjt wasn't too happy as he was the 'not very friendly bear' He was a kn0bber anyway.

 

[firestorm]

Heard the very same quotes, not over a tannoy but over the net on a Harrier ex in 92. The Sqn Adjt wasn't too happy as he was the 'not very friendly bear' He was a kn0bber anyway.

.....and heard the same story about a tank regt on excercise in Germany.

 

[Captain Slog]

Strangest tannoys

Strangest tannoys

While serving at Laarbruch in 1973-76, every Wednesday the Ops people used to do a weekly test which went along the lines of "Stand by for broadcast, stand by for the weekly test of the Station tannoy and alert systems".

In Ops was a Jock SAC who always wanted to do the tannoy but the powers that be would not let him as he was only an SAC and a Jock at that. However, in Jocks last week of his tour they relented and as a farewell gift they said he could do the weekly test.

And sure enough, all at Laarbruch heard the immortal words "Stand by for broadcast, stand by for the weekly test of the Station Hoots and Toots".

There was the immediate sound of a brief scuffle where the phrase "get off ya bassa" could be heard and then the tannoy was repeated correctly this time but nowhere near as funny!

 

[The Mad Taffy]

Falklands 94, broadcast from COC following particularly hard but successful Ex Cape Petrel,

'Shedex Shedex Shedex, all personnel are to report to respective bars and messes and get p155ed!............Cos I am!!!!'

The SAC in question is now an officer I beleive!