1980 I joined the RAF, my outstanding abilities, and ATC experience meant that I was selected as senior man, I excelled in this position, even though the other childish members of the Flight, often attacked me, both verbally and physically, often when I was asleep. I would feel the thud of soap wrapped in a towel. However this did not concern me, as the DI's highly respected my ATC experience. I went on to graduate as best recruit.
Arriving at Halton for my Apprentice course, I was soon singled out, moved to single room for my own safety. It appalled me that there were people who were cheating in the exams, so it was my duty to report them. Fortunately they were removed from the course, and this earned me the respect of the instructors and peers alike. I was soon selected to be the goat handler, and it was due to my amazing organizational skill that this honour was bestowed upon me, the other apprentices thought this was a worthless chore, but I endured their juvenile drivel, because I realized their importance in the application of Air Power. I am proud to say that LEWIS (the goat) was sharper and better turned out than the majority of my fellow apprentices.
1983 left Halton and was selected for the Red Arrows at Scampton, My mother was so proud. Realising my technical expertise I was the only one trusted to be left in the hanger alone to polish all the aircraft, when the rest of the shift were at the bar. Obviously I was promoted on time in 1984, and found GST 1 to be the best course I have ever been on, But I was disgusted at the attitude and appearance of many of man fellow students, I stayed in at night to study and prep my uniform, they went to the pub.
1985 saw me posted to The Queens Flight where I found other people with the same standards and outlook as me, although I only spent 4 years on TQF it was my proudest moments and I still wear My TQF tie to Mess functions.
1989 to RAF Marham on promotion to Sgt where I was employed in the QA section, I enjoyed this posting, going around all the section on camp and trying to raise their standards to mine, In my time at Marham i raised the largest number of NCRs ever raised at an operational airbase, I was proud to be doing my bit for the application of airpower. The Gulf war came along and I was supposed to deploy with 27 Sqn to Saudi but unfortunately due to a stress attack I was downgraded and not able to go, still I was able to do my bit for the War by impounding all their tools kits before they deployed as they were not etched correctly iaw AP100B-01; thereby prevent a serious QA incident in an operational theatre. not only did they almost let their Sqn down but also the whole of the Coalition Forces.
1992 I was specially selected to run the LITS development team, this fantastic system, has made everyone’s life in the RAF easier, and is a true projection of air power. I asked to be removed from this job, after being punched in the face by a Rects controller from Lossi, who obviously did not embrace this new and wonderful technology.
1994 I returned to my spiritual home, that of Trechards finest, RAF Halton, where I was employed in the airman command school instructing GST1 students. I am proud to say that my students had the highest failure and suicide rate. This ensured that people only worthy of the rank of Cpl got through.
1996 promotion to C/T and a posting to 1 S of TT, Instructing airframe FT student. Can you credit it one long in the tooth SAC called me Chief, I explained to him that the rank was Chief Technician and I would be addressed by that. My post was in BET and I am proud to say that only the best got their test piece passed, the slightest deviation above or below 0.02MM on their FTJ was an instant RTU.
Strangely, I had few friends at Halton other than Norman who worked as a Civil Servant in stationary stores, well he was my friend until he too took a restraining order out on me and I was not allowed within 500m of him. This happened after one night I invited him into the Sgts Mess for a drink and after a wonderful night in there i gave him a friendly peck on the lips. He totally misunderstood the situation and I, As a highly regarded SNCo was asked by the CMC to leave the Mess. He also added " no f*****g hommos in here you weirdo" and again I was punched in the face. I was horrified by his attitude, given the RAF's EO policy.
2001 posted to Odiham. When Op TELIC started I was getting ready to deploy, when unfortunately a nasty cold made me unfit to fly for 3 months. The FS then approached me and asked if I would like to move to the QA cell, Although his words were something to the effect of " you complete c**t get the f**k off my Sqn and never darken my door again" Obviously I reported him for this, and for the assault that took place shortly after, and I was horrified to discover that he has recently been made a Sgt again.Around this time I was surprised to read in the RAF news(which I subscribe to) that my Halton apprentice entry had had a 20 year reunion, I never received my invite, and can only assume that the poor quality postage system at Odiham is to blame. In the QA cell at Odiham, I managed to charge 6 So called NCO technicians on 18 sqn, who were carrying illegal tools in the form of gerbers and leathermans, as they prepared to embark to Iraq. My swift action in dealing with this potential loose article hazard, in a combat zone, probably changed the course of the war, However OC 18 Sqn instead of applauding me for adhering to regulations IAW the JAP; arranged a posting to me to the LEAN implementation team at High Wycombe; also he punched me in the face.
2002 at the LEAN implementation team I was instrumental in bringing into service, many of the lean improvements that have made a massive improvements in the application of air power at placed diverse as Lyneham, Wittering and Marham. These improvements have done much to improve moral in the air force, however, strangely, the technical world are so resistant to change that they are not embracing these vast improvements as they should. For example when I visited the 'Pulse' line at Cottesmore I was surprised to be punched in the face when I said this was all my idea.
2005 saw me posted to the Pavilions at Wyton, I would love a posting to Cosford to work as a Modern Apprentice Co-Coordinator, as I feel I have a lot to offer in maintaining standards in the modern RAF.However, under the terms of one of my restraining orders I am not allowed to work with young people or women.
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