Who's the biggest liar you know??

[LynRumourMan]

Let's start this thread to find out who the biggest liar is you've met through the RAF,

I'll start, there's a guy just been posted in to our section and he's told a few lads that he's been getting paid his gratuity of £8500 every week since 2006, which in my eyes makes him a millionaire...

Anybody else know any benders of the truth??

This guy has plenty of other corkers, so this thread should last a while, but that little white one should do for now...

 

[Wanderer]

Said / sad (delete as appropriate) individual is also a proffesional radio controlled car builder / driver and his "sponsors" give him £2000 a week to carry on in these activities. So that will be £104,000 per annum on top of his loophole gratuity!!! Loophole or a**hole. Whichever way, we will soon need a bigger wheelbarrow to cart off the mound of bull s**t that is accumulating..

 

[Sniffer]

I've known someone claim their brother had died to get time off work. When Boss called parents to pass on condolences they knew nothing about it...... Because it didn't fecking happen.

I think these type of liars have slight mental problems!

 

[Shugster]

More tales from the twilight zone here...

http://www.e-goat.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=15936&highlight=tall+stories

DT_Xtremez_26:

 

[pie sandwich]

I knew one bird who told her boss that her mum had fallen down the stairs and was really messed up.

When the boss called after a week to see if her mum was on the mend and when he could expect her back in work, her mum answered the phone and knew nothing about it.


I also knew a stacker who said that he was so qualified at marine navigation that he had been allowed to navigate a RN frigate and that his qualifications were more extensive than the navy's chief instructor, he was 22 by the way.
He did also claim to hold multiple degree's, yet struggled to add up (it must have been a degree in bullsh1t)

 

[propersplitbrainme]

We had a chief back in the 80's who was a real Walt character. He must have had a career being posted every few months, because whenever a photo of some incident or other appeared he was 'there' or just out of shot at the edge!
The Vulcan that ended up in Brazil during the Falklands AND the container ship that was sunk by an Exocette missile - he was involved in both of those. He was on Bikini islands for the H bomb tests, he'd done tours in Hong Kong, Gan, Cyprus (during the invasion unsurprisingly), Kenya during the Mao uprising. Ethiopia during the famina relief drops. Everything.
In fact, everything he touched and everywhere he went seemed to turn to ratsh1t!

 

[Inevertouchedit]

There was always the odd to$$er who would come out with the old chestnut of "I had a jolly in Bucc'/Tomb/Jag and the pilot blacked out/died so I had to land it"

Met a ex-Fishead in Saudi who reckoned he'd been sunk on the Atlantic Conveyor in the Falklands and survived a Harrier crash at Yeovil and a chopper crash in NI - complete Hampton, used to spend all his sparetime Wargamming - enough said.

 

[Mightierthan]

I'll start, there's a guy just been posted in to our section and he insists he's been getting paid his gratuity of £8500 every week since 2006, which in my eyes makes him a millionaire...

Oh yeah, that's been happening to me too. I would be a multi-millionaire by now if it weren't for my laudenam addiction and a mental condition that makes me give all my money to scientologists.

 

[flintwich]

There was once a photog called Fitzy. Among his many stories, two stand out.
1. He was a Noth Sea diver before he joined the RAF.
2. He dived in and saved someone in the pool at Cosford whilst he was having swimming lessons as he was also a non swimmer.

 

[Realist78]

Let's start this thread to find out who the biggest liar is you've met through the RAF,

I'll start, there's a guy just been posted in to our section and he insists he's been getting paid his gratuity of £8500 every week since 2006, which in my eyes makes him a millionaire...

Anybody else know any benders of the truth??

This guy has plenty of other corkers, so this thread should last a while, but that litlle white one should do for now...

He's not just arrived from a certain far north OCU has he? If he's the one, then all I could confirm is that he was paid the sum once. As to the rest...DT_Xtremez_40:

 

[muttywhitedog]

We've got someone who claims to have been to over 600 Depeche Mode concerts, which works out about 23 a year.

And he's been to twelverife for his holidays!

 

[LeeVanCleef]

We had a fairy on 6, it didnt matter what you had done, where you had been or how obscure something was that you had experienced, he could always go one better, but always on the same topic.
I believe the chump is now on 111sqn

 

[MyShineyAr$e]

Spend some time on the gate at Cosford with an AC and you get some right gems. One lad I was on with was about 18, but he had had several 'careers' already including being a tree surgeon which was the most random lie I had ever heard.

He had also been a landscape gardener, a mechanic with a rally team, had been pre-selected for special forces whilst being spotted at Halton.

Brilliant

 

[The Masked Geek]

A stacker who was only a stacker coz colour blindness prevented him from being a pilot.

His multi-millionare Uncle also had a huge house in 27 acres and made his own electric, supplied his own water and had a gas plant in his basement to pipe out the gas from under his land.

He was a gwar so I can kind of sympathise with the dolt in trying to make his life a little more exciting.

 

[Billy Whizz]

I knew one bird who told her boss that her mum had fallen down the stairs and was really messed up.

When the boss called after a week to see if her mum was on the mend and when he could expect her back in work, her mum answered the phone and knew nothing about it.

Wondered how long it would take for this story to appear PS!

Could add to the story but won't for legal reasons! DT_Xtremez_06:

 

[Shugster]

A rigger at Brüggen in the early 90's got the name, "Two sh1ts", because if you'd just had one, he'd had two...

The boys used to wind him up by making up stories to see what he would say... sure enough he'd done it.

A mate from Newcastle, (Where Two sh1ts Smith was from), came back off leave and said something along the lines of he'd, "Got drunk on F700 Beer", or similar... Two sh1ts says... "Oh yeah, Ive drunk that loads of times..." My mate says, "No you haven't, because I just made it up!"

He reduced his BS levels with time, but remained c0ck. ******

And I heard through the grapevine he got a commission. WTF?

 

[LynRumourMan]

Said / sad (delete as appropriate) individual is also a proffesional radio controlled car builder / driver and his "sponsors" give him £2000 a week to carry on in these activities. So that will be £104,000 per annum on top of his loophole gratuity!!! Loophole or a**hole. Whichever way, we will soon need a bigger wheelbarrow to cart off the mound of bull s**t that is accumulating..

Yes, this is the same guy, He also makes £2000 per week off fixing peoples cars apparantly, so there's a further £104,000 a year, so that would make him:-

£8,500 per week for the last 2 and a half years = £1,105,000 (in the bank)

£4,000 per week, let's just say from now on would give him a further £208,000 per annum - i might ask the tw@t for a loan...

Like I say, there's plenty of others, so we'll be able to add his total up better over the coming weeks/months...

 

[LynRumourMan]

He's not just arrived from a certain far north OCU has he? If he's the one, then all I could confirm is that he was paid the sum once. As to the rest...DT_Xtremez_40:

Yes Realist, it seems we are talking about the same bloke

 

[Vendee]

There was always the odd to$$er who would come out with the old chestnut of "I had a jolly in Bucc'/Tomb/Jag and the pilot blacked out/died so I had to land it"

Would have been quite an achievement in a Bucc as there never was a twin sticker built.

 

[Inevertouchedit]

Would have been quite an achievement in a Bucc as there never was a twin sticker built.

A proper Bullsteiner would never let a minor detail like that get in the way !!!