This was on facebook, done by a lady Veteran

[Ex-Bay]

I was at Asda yesterday, this thick fcukin chav bitch was on the check-out, face like a slapped arse and all the charisma of a jellied eel. I came to pay, I had only bought milk and bread but had no change.

"£1.03 please"
"Sorry this is all I've got," as I handed her a £20 note.

"Haven't you got anything smaller, 'cos it will take all my change, and I don't wanna count out £18.97?" she replied and pulled a stroppy face.

"I've got nothing, if that helps," I replied...she didn't get it so I thought **** it, I'll pay by card.
"Shall I pay by card?" I asked.

"Don't do me no favours," she snapped.

I kept my cool and just put my PIN in.
"Cash back?" she asked sarcastically.

I couldn't resist it... "Oh yes, £18.97 please!!.

 

[Gord]

Bloody love it, a girl after my own heart. It's easy for the checkout girl to request more change from the supervisor, lazy bitch. Besides which, all she needed was change for a fiver, the rest would have been in notes so if she couldn't handle that, she didn't get a big enough float which is her problem.

 

[Wobbly_Jon]

Triffic, must try that with the stroppy cow in my local Spar, she is exactly like the 'lady' in question too dumb for words.

 

[stingray888]

Me & Mrs Sting were in a local store. We bought a couple of items for £1 10p I gave the lass on the till a tenner and asked if she wanted the 10p. "Why" she said. I began to explain how it would make the change easier when the manager jumped in and said " We don't do things like that here" She ten gave me the change including the shrapnel. It was obvious the manager was trying to cover the fact that the lass was semi literate and that's probably being kind.

 

[PraiseBacon]

A few years ago I was having a beer and some excellent chicken wings in the downtown Charlotte Hooters bar with a colleague.

The enhanced size of the waitresses finest store bought pair, unfortunately, exceeded her IQ. (not that I was bothered at the time!)

Anyway – time to leave we went to pay up – at which point the waitress said she couldn’t bring us a bill yet as the power to the till was down.

So I said, OK 4 beers at $4 each , that's $16 ; and 2 trays of wings at $5 each = $10 – that’s $26 total – here’s $30 to include a tip.

At which point I was dumbfounded when she said – “Sir, I have no way of knowing if that is correct – you could have just made the numbers up. I’m sorry but you’ll have to wait until we can get the till back”.

It took a manager with a calculator on his phone to confirm the maths before they would accept we hadn’t just pulled a number out of the air.

So annoyed at their lack of basic maths skills – we decided to take our trade to bikini’s after that (the even skimpier uniforms were defiantly not a factor!)

 

[Johned]

This was on facebook, done by a lady Veteran Your Message

This was on facebook, done by a lady Veteran Your Message

Some time ago in Morrisons, 'er indoors (0 Level Maths) "beat the clock" i.e was faster than the till in totting up the dozen or so items she had purchased and gave the cashier the exact cash. The latter stared in amazement and exclaimed awestruck "How did you do that?" Is simple arithmetical addition beyond our ken any more?

 

[Johned]

This was on facebook, done by a lady Veteran

Two posts in one day on the subject of checkout experiences. Today I queued to pay at a checkout till behind a corpulent (to say the least), heavily tattooed young "lady." She seemed to be really quick off the mark scooping up her change and scurrying out of the store. Within second we all discovered why? She had obviously been the victim of a spasm of flatulence to put it mildly a real room clearer. Human nature being what it is, the rest of the queue stood glaring accusingly at one another. Still what one can one expect when us higher echelons in society stoop to mingle with the plebs patronising "Poundstretcher!"

 

[Gord]

Two posts in one day on the subject of checkout experiences. Today I queued to pay at a checkout till behind a corpulent (to say the least), heavily tattooed young "lady." She seemed to be really quick off the mark scooping up her change and scurrying out of the store. Within second we all discovered why? She had obviously been the victim of a spasm of flatulence to put it mildly a real room clearer. Human nature being what it is, the rest of the queue stood glaring accusingly at one another. Still what one can one expect when us higher echelons in society stoop to mingle with the plebs patronising "Poundstretcher!"

Ah yes, the old "Who TF farted" glare, most efficiently carried out in a crowded lift when after dropping a particularly nasty SPD, one turns to stare at the smallest person in the lift and looking him up and down accompany those actions with "Dear God!!!!!" :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:

 

[Kryten]

Ah yes, the old "Who TF farted" glare, most efficiently carried out in a crowded lift when after dropping a particularly nasty SPD, one turns to stare at the smallest person in the lift and looking him up and down accompany those actions with "Dear God!!!!!" :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:

Hmmm...do we have the basis for a new thread here? "Epic Farts - Locations and Stench"?