Old wind ups for new arrivals (merged)

[4mastacker]

A certain blonde, and quite fit WRAF officer at a north-west Norfolk base tried to wind up one of the stacker FSs. This happened just as GW1 was about to kick off and said blonde and quite fit WRAF officer was due to be posted to UKMAMS. She was really up for this posting in a creaming-in-her-knickers sort of way. The FS had a spoof signal raised cancelling her posting to UKMAMS - something to do with "a policy of not employing females in a war zone" - and re-posting her to 16MU Stafford as OC Contract Repairs and Procurement (OC CRAP). The FS convinced OC Supply that the spoof would work cos the blonde and quite fit WRAF officer wouldn't read the signal properly (SIC was WAM/BAM/MAM). OC Supply was worried that his career would be over if it went wrong - daddy of blonde and quite fit WRAF officer was an Air Commodore at the time and had "influence in certain matters". After reading the signal the target blonde and quite fit WRAF Officer starts storming round offices various protesting about being posted to "some sh*t job at Stafford". Fortunately the station hierarchy were in on the spoof and eventually her protestations reached OC Admin where she was listened to very sympathetically before being led out into the corridor where the stackers had quietly assembled to listen to her rantings. Cue one very embarrassed and and somewhat chastised blonde and quite fit WRAF officer who had learnt it was not wise to f**k with the FSs.

 

[TrebleB]

RAF somewhere in north London. LACs put in charge of watering all of tha plants in PSF before the Friday beer call. Cue couple of weeks before they realised that the plants were plastic...

 

[Tashengurt]

I got sent to workshops for a "Long weight". I knew it was a wind up but wasn't brave enough to tell the Cpl to Feck off so I went across and came back with the longest bit of steel they could give me. Did the trick!

 

[Kim Wipe]

whilst in seeb i went over to the carefore and bought the biggest leek i could find.

Then duly stuck it onto the main leg of a nim next morning and waited till the eng did his walk round.

After a few minutes i ran up shouting about a massive leak on the stbd main leg and how come he hadent noticed it.

His face turned red and he ran out the jet and down to the offending leek, oh how we laughed and laughed.

The summer nights just flew by................

fantastic !!!!!

 

[expatsumpy]

We used to frighten the living daylights out of the WRAF/WRAC/WRENs down at the Bottom of the World(MPA). They were always talking the Chinook Crewmen into taking them flying and sometimes us liney's would go along for the ride. So there we are hurtling through the air at 120kts and 4000ft with the ramp down and our feet dangling in the airflow, all with harnesses on and the girls are all excited and having the time of their life. Then a crewman would appear and tap one of the girls on the shoulder and show her the unattached end of a spare harness. you have never seen such a scared look appear on someones face so quickly, then they wriggle back up ramp, stand up and walk back to their seat but after about four steps are yanked off their feet because they reached the end of strop of the harness that is still attached to the floor. She sits there with very red face for a while then curses like a navi when she she realises she's been had.

Good laughs allround.

 

[AFSCMik]

plutonium deliverer

plutonium deliverer

I cant say I witnessed this but it was told to me by the victim. As a young LAC at Hendon. He was told he had to take a box of radioactive waste from stores to the armoury . He was suitably attired in NBC kit and gas mask and told to walk with box at arms length, Whilst being followed by fork lift truck with flashing lights, apparently a good 300 yards. whereupon he was met by a plumber in bahama shorts who took it off him and decontaminated him with a dry powder extinguisher. Best one I ever heard of.

This lad also went to the med centre when summoned for a smear test!

 

[Very Heavy very Humble]

Shackleton spark plug

Shackleton spark plug

I heard about the new guys being asked to measure the spare plug gap on the Shackleton antenna that resembled one...