Officers' Forum

[M_for_Mother]

Can we have an Officers' Forum, so that we can discuss all things pertaining to Commissioned life such as: Cucumber Sandwiches with the crusts cut off, climbing up Harry Staish's ass, being called Rupert, going to Polytechnic (to study Media & Homosexuality) and why our parents hated us?

Post here if you want to see it

MFM

 

[Twonston Pickle]

Yes Please! Toodle pip, what what and chocks away chappies.........

 

[tag_lincoln]

Anyone for Pimm's?

 

[jeff]

Jolly Good

Jolly Good

I'm in charge. Carry on.

 

[MeerKat]

Orrifices Forum

Orrifices Forum

Oh absolutely spiffing old boy, just what one needs what oh!

 

[Stax]

Rodneys Forum!

Rodneys Forum!

Mother! What planet are you on you upper class, vowel strangling eejit. The point of this is it is the RAF network. Whatever branch you are (and you're probably a fighter controller judging by some of your previous posts) then use the forum according to that specialisation. If you want to argue, use the fight club. We are all equal in cyber space, allowing us to say what we want in a manner we want. Having a strictly "Ruperts only" forum smacks of elitist, public school, "Times" reading flatulance. The only bonus is that real tradesmen would be to identify and pillory those inbred, horsey, pims drinking w@nk3rs that have their heids so far up their own ar5e5 that they wouldn't be able to get up Harry Staishes!

However, if you must, then go on, cut yourself off from your troops on the shop floor, or alternativley go to Pprune.

 

[SirSaltyHelmet]

Was I married to you once Stax????

 

[Plumber]

Stax you forgot to end that with Sir/Maam

 

[M_for_Mother]

Stax,

first off, my friend, Pimms has 2 m's.

But you probably wouldn't know that because you (obviously) were brought up in the bleak North of England, living in an outside toilet with 5 other families. You only attended school once, and that was to 'thief' the chalk boards and flog them to the local rag 'n' bone merchant so you could buy some 'tabs'.

You joined the Royal Air Force to escape this poverty and because they offered free shoes, 3 squares a day and shelter from the drunken beatings your father delivered to you and your 8 siblings each evening, upon his return from the Pit Working Mens' Club.

You habitually collect both your main meal and your dessert at the same time to prevent someone else from getting the best 'scran' and you married at 18 because that was when you realised you could get a free MQ if you were hitched. You hate your wife and spend all your time trying to get into WRAFs in order to satisfy your insatible desire to reproduce.

You are, in fact, a consumate Class Warrior.

Seriously though - we Zobs do need somewhere to discuss our terribly boring news. (And ARRSE have got one!)

MFM

 

[Stax]

Listen sunshine, you wouldn't be able to identify "The North" if it jumped up and bit you on the "Officers Forum" seeing as the furthest you've been without a Chauffer to get you there is probably Sloane Square to pick up your inbred, buck toothed, large ar5ed, tweed and pearl wearing girlfriend (whose name is probably Felicty or Pookie). You make out that you are all pally with "The Chaps" when inwardly you both despise and fear them. You don't realise that when they salute you and call "Sir" they are actually thinking "Cur". We tend to be able to 5hag WRAF officers as we are the only real men they meet on a daily basis as opposed to the chinless G&T swilling Hooray Henrys in the creche (sorry officers mess) You couldn't find your ar5e without direction from you batman (and as they are no longer in service, you must have a mingin' ring from wiping your elbow every time you go to the toilet). We didn't have a Miners club because that Tory Harridan, whose poster probably adorns the wall of your office (signed, Good Luck Tarquin, Love Maggie), Thatcher, managed to close the pits, putting good men out of work and ensuring Britain has to rely on imported coal for it's power. So take your commision and use it to protect your chest as, come the revolution, you will be first up against the wall.

PS: Mummy sends hugs!

 

[Plumber]

Stax,

first off, my friend, Pimms has 2 m's.

But you probably wouldn't know that because you (obviously) were brought up in the bleak North of England, living in an outside toilet with 5 other families. You only attended school once, and that was to 'thief' the chalk boards and flog them to the local rag 'n' bone merchant so you could buy some 'tabs'.

You joined the Royal Air Force to escape this poverty and because they offered free shoes, 3 squares a day and shelter from the drunken beatings your father delivered to you and your 8 siblings each evening, upon his return from the Pit Working Mens' Club.

You habitually collect both your main meal and your dessert at the same time to prevent someone else from getting the best 'scran' and you married at 18 because that was when you realised you could get a free MQ if you were hitched. You hate your wife and spend all your time trying to get into WRAFs in order to satisfy your insatible desire to reproduce.

You are, in fact, a consumate Class Warrior.

Seriously though - we Zobs do need somewhere to discuss our terribly boring news. (And ARRSE have got one!)

MFM

No you don't, you can trawl through the illegible scribblings of us northerh monkeys like everyone else has to.

Now get back into your private members club you soft southern shandy (pimms my ar5e you couldn't handle it) drinking p00fter, and stop annoying the rest of us.

By the way Mrs Plumber your not included in the above.

 

[M_for_Mother]

oh dear, refused a Commission were we?

Or did you get as far as OASC, only to fail because of your inability to read/write and your surplus fingers? Perhaps OC Supply doesn't listen to the excellent ideas you have about increasing Sqn efficiency by doing absolutely b*gger all and letting the SNCOs run the show.

I may be rich, but at least I'm not stupid

MFM

 

[Plumber]

oh dear, refused a Commission were we?

Or did you get as far as OASC, only to fail because of your inability to read/write and your surplus fingers? Perhaps OC Supply doesn't listen to the excellent ideas you have about increasing Sqn efficiency by doing absolutely b*gger all and letting the SNCOs run the show.

I may be rich, but at least I'm not stupid

MFM

Never applied for one thankyou nor do I want to. Altough it has been suggested that I should go for it (its just not for me).

I don't come from Norfolk so I don't have any surplus fingers, thankyou.

I'm not a supplier hence my screen name being Plumber.

You may be fairly wealthy, but do you live in a stately home surrounded by nearly 500 acres of parkland and meadows and have a drive almost a mile long from the public road to your front door? Thought not.

As not not being stupid, thats pointless if you have no common sense, as someone has said before "an officer is someone who can calculate the volume of the contents of a jam jar, but has no idea how to open it".

 

[Plumber]

Sorry I forgot to say Sir/Maam.

 

[Bluntend]

He's right! I've tried the "Airman! Open this 282.78ml jam jar" approach myself - I wouldn't recomend it.

 

[M_for_Mother]

Plumber,

Let me get this right, you're an airman who says that he has been recommended to take his Commission, but it just never felt right. To me, you're a Walt.

You can spend your whole life moaning about how you 'could have done this' or 'were recommended for that', but you will never know your true measure until you push yourself. I guess that you just feel happy in your comfort zone and, hey, why not - we weren't all built to set the world alight.

More importantly, can we have an Officers' Forum so that we can get together and discuss the things that are important to us, but not hugely interesting to the wider community?

MFM

 

[dolphinops]

"You don't realise that when they salute you and call "Sir" they are actually thinking "Cur"."

Stax Concur with most of what you say but I salute HM the Boss, not the Officer.

 

[SirSaltyHelmet]

MFM,

Bet you are a fooking star to work for, I would follow you out of idle curiousity only!

On the subject of setting the world alight, was your first choice aircrew or couldnt you rise that far above the rest?

 

[Bitburger]

Plumber,

Let me get this right, you're an airman who says that he has been recommended to take his Commission, but it just never felt right. To me, you're a Walt.

You can spend your whole life moaning about how you 'could have done this' or 'were recommended for that', but you will never know your true measure until you push yourself. I guess that you just feel happy in your comfort zone and, hey, why not - we weren't all built to set the world alight.

More importantly, can we have an Officers' Forum so that we can get together and discuss the things that are important to us, but not hugely interesting to the wider community?

MFM

errrrrrrr Let me think.............. No you can not

 

[M_for_Mother]

C'mon Salty, its all good banter.

I couldn't give a flying fcuk why you followed me, just that you did. Its not my fault if there are individuals on here that fancy a scrap over a simple request, (it was going so well!).

I have never and (for the love of God I hope) will never be Aircrew, although some of my friends are. I still like them though.

I find it really suprising that so much vitriol has poured forth over this, you obviously resent Officers, which is your choice. I am just curious as to why that is? Most of the other troops I have met with chips on their shoulders have either been 1) turned down before OASC 2) turned down at OASC or 3) Born in poverty.

Get a grip fella, life is not fair - that doesn't mean you have to b'itch and moan about your lot. If you're unhappy; improve. This is a website to discuss RAF topics, it seems reasonable to have an Officers' Forum where things like JOCC, ICSC and promotions can be discussed without boring the wider community.

MFM