Almighty Fcuk Ups

[gemarriott]

I'm suprised no one has mentioned the old story about the DT_Xtremez_21:92 sqn DT_Xtremez_14: Phantom that shot down the Jag early 80's in rafg. The Jock had signed for battle flight spare but argued at the CM that the Plummers should have left the saftey pins in (or something like that) Got off it.

Apparently a bit of bodge tape over the master arm switch would have reminded the sharpest tool in the drawer he had 8 real pointy bangy things hanging from his aeroplane. Of course it was the plumbers fault that they hadn't thought of this before and therefore they got the blame and we had to start sticking bits of bodge tape to master arm switches afterwardsDT_Xtremez_14:

 

[ninjarabbi]

Up on Mount Alice a long time ago and the CO decided that a rope path was needed between the accommodation blocks and the radar since people were getting lost in the 'occasional' snow storms. Myself and a young techie decided to bang some nice steel poles into the side of the path, big blue flash and the big whirly thing on top of the hill stops working. Suffice to say we departed and headed back to own up (ok, hide until someone else fixed it).

 

[muttywhitedog]

Was on the sunny med island when a sqn of Jags had a S/l promoted to Wing Co did a low level fly past to celebrate and took the top off on of the lighting pylons and was quickly arrested. Allegedly! Dont know whether he kept his promotion.

He was court martialled, fined and then "invited" to repatriate himself and his family back to New Zealand from where he'd come.

The only promotion he got was to the rank of Mr.

 

[pie sandwich]

I'm suprised no one has mentioned the old story about the DT_Xtremez_21:92 sqn DT_Xtremez_14: Phantom that shot down the Jag early 80's in rafg. The Jock had signed for battle flight spare but argued at the CM that the Plummers should have left the saftey pins in (or something like that) Got off it.

It was a lecky at Saints that wired the MASS switch up the wrong way round, cue one tech charge and a very embarrassed JT DT_Xtremez_14:

 

[techie_tubby]

While setting up Sat dishes at Basrah the SEngO and WO C4I who signed off the sighting clearence and clearence to transmit 100m from any runway as the RF beam activates the flares on Chinooks and C130's.

Well on seeing the signal they then told us to move it to the other side of the airfield even though we asked what would happen if the aircraft just land in the other direction. the SEngO said that the chances of any aircraft landin in that direction are very slim. Next thing we heard, 4 C130's landed in said direction and all the flares on board the a/c where activated and the SEngO got hauled infront of the Air Cdr to explain his actions. He was very quickly RTU'd

 

[ROTORHEAD]

Mind the door

Mind the door

A small? F**ck up recently when a Puma was about to be unloaded from a C17 in Africa. Unfortunatley it looks like someone may have forgoten to unchain the cab from the rear door before opening it. Peeled it open like the tin can it is!

PS, I believe that the Chinook in Dussledorf was being marshalled by the surviving crewman.

 

[matkat]

Wasn't there another Harrier display pilot who landed after his display, stood up on his EJ seat and bowed to his adoring crowd and then promptly set off the seat with his foot through the loop getting out 'cos he forgot to put the pins in? Might be urban myth but the old gray bits seem to remember something..........

No Mate that is not a myth it happend IIRC at yeovilton late 70s He had done the display and taxied in got out to take the ovation but forgot to put the seat pins in he stood on the seat pan handle but his lap buckle acted as a pivot and fired the seat, killed him unfortunately, it was deatailed in the old favourite Air Clues.

 

[ROTORHEAD]

Wing Tips

Wing Tips

A couple of years ago at Leeming, a keen air trafficer raised the barrier a little too soon after a VC10 landed, neatly trimming 2 feet from the one of the wing tips. (Human factors!)

 

[Odie]

I know a pilot (a good friend) who, a fair few years ago at Bruggen, had a brain fart while doing rollers in a Tonka.

After a few rollers doing it the old traditional way of apply reheat, pull back on stick, get airborne, raise undercarriage. His dear old brain went wibble and decided the order should be raise undercarriage (which because the wows hadn't yet made dutifully went up), slam throttles to combat, pull back on stick, grind rear corners off the belly pylons and taileron leading edge corners on runway, get airborne, go have a chat with Harry Staish.

 

[PORKY WARD]

As a young (very hung over) flm on bucc's, loading the lox pot up the arse end, clipped in the vent & supply hose's.
Two hours later summoned to the Jengos office & asked to explain how during a 4g manouvre the jockey expeirenced a lack of oxygen due to the supply hose not being connected, errr................

 

[PORKY WARD]

A certain JT lecky banging off a fuel tank on a bucc in a has during a beercall, end of beercall.............more chiclken sh*t needed

 

[gemarriott]

It was always going to be a disaster. The Leccies started doing Jett checks on the Fletchers from the left hand end of the line and the plumbers followed them arming the tanks. The leccies started looking at the line from the front and the plumbers started looking at the line from the rear it was the kite in the middle that dropped the tankDT_Xtremez_42:

 

[Ex-Splitter and Proud]

It was always going to be a disaster. The Leccies started doing Jett checks on the Fletchers from the left hand end of the line and the plumbers followed them arming the tanks. The leccies started looking at the line from the front and the plumbers started looking at the line from the rear it was the kite in the middle that dropped the tankDT_Xtremez_42:

And how many times did similar things occur on Tonka squadrons during the Taceval/Mineval generation years?DT_Xtremez_14:

 

[gemarriott]

And how many times did similar things occur on Tonka squadrons during the Taceval/Mineval generation years?DT_Xtremez_14:

taceval on Buccs, the CBLS was dropped from the pylon, 1000lber hung on pylon selector set to pylon release during the generation phase, bombs off CBLS back on, 4 X 4lbers fitted pylon selector switch forgot about, first run on target jockey drops 4 X 4lbers and CBLS and returns to base very red faced. Duty officers for him and the Nav for a week for missing it on walk rounds, severe rep for Cpl who forgot to change the switch and few reps for various SNCOs for paperwork irregularities.

 

[Ex-Splitter and Proud]

It was always going to be a disaster. The Leccies started doing Jett checks on the Fletchers from the left hand end of the line and the plumbers followed them arming the tanks. The leccies started looking at the line from the front and the plumbers started looking at the line from the rear it was the kite in the middle that dropped the tankDT_Xtremez_42:

That - and the old "let's just take off all the 3rd tanks". Sooties work from one end of the HAS site, armourers follow....


Somewhere the armourers overtake the sooties...

then crack off a full one....

Laugh - I nearly sh4t!!DT_Xtremez_42:

The face on those armourer Snecs - always a picture!

Not funny really - but when it's someone else's fcukup, it'd be rude not to take the pi55, wouldn't it?DT_Xtremez_30:

 

[Crabbity Ann]

Another non-techie fcuk-up: whilst arriving in a far away sunny place with lots of "bad weather" the new CO is politely reminded that he needs to have his rifle on him at all times, not just body armour and helmet. Cue look of horror on new boss' face as he suddenly remembers what he forgot to bring with him. DT_Xtremez_42:

 

[ROTORHEAD]

Oops

Oops

FLeM "Crablow" from 360 at Wyton after telling his PO supervisor that "Of course he knew what he was doing!" banged the wrong chaff pod off his Canberra at Leuchars, blacking out half of Fife for an hour or two.

 

[he_who_dares_rodney]

I was at Brize at the time, it took about 24 hours to get the thing back down again. We were having our Christmas draw at the time in the Section when somebody shouted, suddenly the whole of GEF ****ed out their heads are walking down the airfield with the boss desperately trying to get us back in the teabar. I also heard they had only just got the work experience kid off the jet seconds before they realised it was going to tip.

There you are
I know the MT driver doing the defuel - good friend of mine

Older Goaters may remember the story off the two Phantoms that had to pull up to clear Cranwell College roof during a pass out fly past
Blew alot of people over and left scorch marks on the parade ground by all accounts

 

[Stevienics]

Chinook Mk 1 in Port S.C. in June 82 and as a newly arrived and newly promoted corporal...so keen to display my egaliatarianism to the 18 Sqn socialists, I got stuck into the AF. The inter gearbox was painted with big white letters reading "OX blah de blah", so being low, it got "OX blah de blah".

Oh dear, no. It don't get "OX blah de blah", as if I had read the AP (by torchlight), I would have known. Our gearboxes get something one digit different. Score one bad one for the Puma guy.

 

[chumleywarner]

Am i the only civvy that knows about the vc10 conversions at filton?...ie, around 1992 a certain shift leader demanded the under carage lowered, even after protests from the techs that they have not got a full hand over from night shift?....said main under carrige met in the middle (no hydraulics) , a/c jumped off jacks, jacks pierced wings....shift leaders knees went quite wobbly...slight wiff of poo?...thank the eavens that they had a spare vc10 eh!