Almighty Fcuk Ups

[MyShineyAr$e]

Now we have all made fcuk ups during our careers. I admit there have been times when I have embarrased myself and my seniors, however, this mornig I heard a story whilst I was on CO's inspections that made anything I have done pale into insignificance.

It relates to a trashed Harrier sat in a Hangar at Tossford waiting for disposal. The story is that it was part of 1 Sqn attached to HMS Illustrious. Now from what I was told this morning it was being flown back to ship when the Pilot somehow managed to miss the ship completely and ditch the multi-million pound aircraft into the big salt.

Like I say it makes my balls up seem trivial. Can anybody top it for a fcuk up?

 

[HandbrakeHouse]

Try this, MSA, http://www.flightglobal.com/articles/2007/05/01/213559/gripen-pilot-ejects-by-accident.htmlhttp://www.flightglobal.com/articles/2007/05/01/213559/gripen-pilot-ejects-by-accident.html (I'll get the hang of links eventually.)

Impressive that they managed to recover if it went into the oggin. Remember being at a course at IFS a loooong time ago when there was a lot of talk about not putting sonar reflectors in tails (or wherever) which would improve the prospects of location in lots of fathoms.

 

[cyder]

Best Fcuk up so far.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/li...tml?in_article_id=451813&in_page_id=1770&ct=5

 

[TheHogwartsBEngO]

Best Fcuk up so far.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/li...tml?in_article_id=451813&in_page_id=1770&ct=5

got distracted by the world's fastest toilet (sorry, lavatory - I'll never marry royalty) feature down the side and the best bikini body article

 

[MetalMonkey]

The Register claims that the Swedish pilot was ejected by his G-suit.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/04/26/wallace_joins_the_swedish_airforce/

 

[230Tiger]

got distracted by the world's fastest toilet (sorry, lavatory - I'll never marry royalty) feature down the side and the best bikini body article

I got distracted by the "Denise Van Outen tops best bikini body list" article myself!

 

[Goatherdingsplitter]

Now we have all made fcuk ups during our careers. I admit there have been times when I have embarrased myself and my seniors, however, this mornig I heard a story whilst I was on CO's inspections that made anything I have done pale into insignificance.

It relates to a trashed Harrier sat in a Hangar at Tossford waiting for disposal. The story is that it was part of 1 Sqn attached to HMS Illustrious. Now from what I was told this morning it was being flown back to ship when the Pilot somehow managed to miss the ship completely and ditch the multi-million pound aircraft into the big salt.

Like I say it makes my balls up seem trivial. Can anybody top it for a fcuk up?

The pilot was OC the Sqn concerned and there was a medical reason for the crash, so it was not a fcuk up in the 1st place.

That said the CO that brought it to Tossford thinking that it could be turned into 1. a training aid by exposing all the carbon fibre ("just rub it down with wet & dry", he said) and 2. a gate guard certainly fcuked up. The 1st chance we got it was off loaded to somewhere more suitable!

 

[wgaf]

The pilot was OC the Sqn concerned and there was a medical reason for the crash, so it was not a fcuk up in the 1st place.

That said the CO that brought it to Tossford thinking that it could be turned into 1. a training aid by exposing all the carbon fibre ("just rub it down with wet & dry", he said) and 2. a gate guard certainly fcuked up. The 1st chance we got it was off loaded to somewhere more suitable!

It went into the oggin after an engine surge. The medical condition was found out after on the post ejection medical. (He ejected into the sea when the jet inverted.) If as I presume we're talking about the same incident, don't know of any others.

 

[Gunnerrock]

There is the alleged case of an RAF Techie going through some checks on a Rapier Missile Launcher in the Falklands in 82/83.

........and err had an N.D with it!

 

[HandbrakeHouse]

There is the alleged case of an RAF Techie going through some checks on a Rapier Missile Launcher in the Falklands in 82/83.

........and err had an N.D with it!

Ooooh, that triggered a memory of what may be considered a f**k up. Seem to remember the following being told to me by a Rock Ape S/L a couple of years after the event. In 82, the first few times the RA fired Rapier, they went a few hunded yards and plopped into the sea. A passing RAF EngO leant over the operator and flicked the switch from "Range" to "War" and, hey presto, they kept on going to the target. May be b***ucks of course.

 

[Cake or Death]

oooooooooo denise van outen. i once knew of a lad who after fitting wing telescopic fuel pipes on a swing wing machine, had to proceed to fill the fin with fuel for another test. only to notice fuel was leaking from said telescopic. so being a hero he disconnected the pipe so's he could fit a new seal. and yes proceeded to syphon a large amount of fuel out of the jet on to hangar floor and new tyre and brake pack. the lad after sumoning help refitted pipe with fuel pi$$ing everywhere and fcuking the trye and brakes, he then went and spent about an entire months pay on cakes and donuts. silly twerp

 

[Goatherdingsplitter]

It went into the oggin after an engine surge. The medical condition was found out after on the post ejection medical. (He ejected into the sea when the jet inverted.) If as I presume we're talking about the same incident, don't know of any others.

Thanks wgaf I stand corrected, was the jet concerned not damaged in the recovery process as well (memory only works in fits & starts, and only when fuelled by alcohol).

Off Topic Talking of memory, some of Wobbly's escapades are starting to come back to me from Benson!!

 

[wgaf]

Thanks wgaf I stand corrected, was the jet concerned not damaged in the recovery process as well (memory only works in fits & starts, and only when fuelled by alcohol).

Off Topic Talking of memory, some of Wobbly's escapades are starting to come back to me from Benson!!

It's incredibly difficult not to damage an airframe in a recovery of this nature. The seat had fired, this causes massive damage and buckling of the airframe, the lifting operation could possibly have damaged it and there was also salt corrosion damage to contend with. The navy are extremely profficient at these sorts of recovery and as soon as it gets back on deck they wash the entire frame in fresh water, to remove as much of the salt as possible. If I recall correctly the frame was stripped of just about anything undamaged, i.e. u/c etc., and it was all shipped back to Wittering for the investigation and then to see if it was recoverable.
That really hurt, saying something good about the fishheads!

 

[Tigger]

Speaking of Harrier fcuk ups, anyone remember the display pilot that did a touch and go without the u/c down during an airshow in Chile IIRC ?

 

[Scaley brat]

It's incredibly difficult not to damage an airframe in a recovery of this nature. The seat had fired, this causes massive damage and buckling of the airframe, the lifting operation could possibly have damaged it and there was also salt corrosion damage to contend with. The navy are extremely profficient at these sorts of recovery and as soon as it gets back on deck they wash the entire frame in fresh water, to remove as much of the salt as possible. If I recall correctly the frame was stripped of just about anything undamaged, i.e. u/c etc., and it was all shipped back to Wittering for the investigation and then to see if it was recoverable.
That really hurt, saying something good about the fishheads!

Maybe it's cos they're crap at landing and have to recover more Aircraft mate DT_Xtremez_31:

 

[Dave-exfairy]

2 things stick in my mind from my days on 6:

Flares being fired while on the ground, think the 'leckies were doing something at the time.

I left the fuel cap off after a refuel and closed the airbrakes as I had done a hyd replen, can't remember the OOPS code, the a/b's crushed the cap. Riggers weren't pleased, no major damage done and still got the cap!!!

 

[denthemen]

Speaking of Harrier fcuk ups, anyone remember the display pilot that did a touch and go without the u/c down during an airshow in Chile IIRC ?

Wasn't there another Harrier display pilot who landed after his display, stood up on his EJ seat and bowed to his adoring crowd and then promptly set off the seat with his foot through the loop getting out 'cos he forgot to put the pins in? Might be urban myth but the old gray bits seem to remember something..........

 

[metimmee]

2 x 18 Sqn's Chinooks loaded into a Galaxy for deployment to GW1. Phonecall to line-control "Your aircraft are ****ing fuel into the hold of our Galaxy which is now landing with an emergency state. You have XY hours to remove the aircraft or else we will."

Turned out, the sumpies had bagged the pipes and not fitted the correct metal blanks. :raf:

 

[gemarriott]

Couple of good un from the bucc days.

Aircrew

Bucc comes out of cloud at a weird angle, as jockey shouts "it's OK I've got it" Nav departs at 80 feet per sec courtesy of messr's Martin and Baker.

Groundcrew.

Kite lands with nose leg stuck up on foam at Lossie or Leuchars can't remember which but ends up only cat2 after the jockey did brilliant job, groundcrew jack it up, falls off nose jack and bingo completeley fcuked.

 

[metimmee]

Not an almighty fcuk up, but a fcuk up all the same. SAC Metimmee on det in Lajes with the Nimrods. Was asked to do a quick uplift refuel which went in the one tank. Having completed the refuel, checked the magnetic level indicator of the one tank only, and not all of the tanks (1st and last time!) and signed it up.

A couple of hours later, asleep down the back end, receives a sharp tap on the shoulder from the air eng. Summons me up to the stbd beam window and points outside at the 4A tank MFLI hanging out of the tank bent back in the airflow at an outragious angle. DT_Xtremez_42: Wanted to say "erm, well it was the other guy who refuelled that tank...", but knowing that I signed the job up I had to take the rap - lesson learned.