The New Boy

[Bitburger]

Just stay away from Bay 4 - he tends to hang around there!

Not that sausage2 would know, as he is too scared to go to bay 4 on his own lol

 

[Billy Whizz]

Not that sausage2 would know, as he is too scared to go to bay 4 on his own lol

Doesn't leave Control any more, does he?

 

[sausage2]

Right you lot fu*k off and leave me alone. Bay 4 is haunted , and I'm a coward, so no surprises there, do you know where bay 4 is Bit. I suggest not.

As for never leaving the office well OK i'll give you that one. But mind it is winter, and I'm very work shy, so no suprises there either.

 

[Bitburger]

Right you lot fu*k off and leave me alone. Bay 4 is haunted , and I'm a coward, so no surprises there, do you know where bay 4 is Bit. I suggest not.

As for never leaving the office well OK i'll give you that one. But mind it is winter, and I'm very work shy, so no suprises there either.

Yes thank you Sausage2 for your suggestion, I do however, know where bay 4 is, not that I ever have to go out there, I have people to do that for me. I also know where the Cells are and that is where you will be heading if there is any more lips from you

By the way Happy Xmas mate

 

[beer]

Flying lessons - broom handle through the denim sleeves - Ah such memories! At Honington ( Bucc Days) we introduced instrument flying by the addition of an empty 'Crisp Box' on the head - had to be Walkers of course, no expense spared!
Another good one when it was raining, was to 'Bodge tape' the offender to a set of compressed air bottles, making sure that the head was secure. The trolley, with attached, was pushed under the most persistent big drip coming from the slightly open hanger door with the drip landing smack in the middle of the forehead! That one brought a few 'Gobby Tw*t's' done to size!

 

[Bushy Mills]

I think the best I ever saw was at What A Shame. The Radar bay dropped some 'radio active' valves and made the new guy clean it up. Then they all walked back in wearing full NBC, stared at him in horror in his blues and sent him to the medical centre for a check up.

The Medics who were in on it did a cursory pulse / respiration check and then sent him into a small cubicle with a couple of magazines for inspiration and told him they would have to do a sperm count just in case he had been contaminated.

When he 'came' out everyone was in the corridor singing "You're a w**ker, You're a w**ker". Oh how we laughed....

Mmmm... do you think we could have caused him any damage???

 

[sausage2]

I also know where the Cells are and that is where you will be heading if there is any more lips from you

By the way Happy Xmas mate

You haven't got the bottle to jail me.

Happy Christmas to TBFSIWEWF

 

[Wing boy]

The best one i ever saw was at a certain scottish airbase in the moray firth. We hooked up with clothing stores and got them to send the newbie a chit telling him to go to stores for his no 1 Home dress. Of course with this being Scotland No 1 Home dress would be a kilt would it not? Poor lad had never left yorkshire in his life so fell hook line and sinker and tootled off to supply. When he got there he was reliably informed that Kilts cost a proper penny (about 500 quid) and that his name would be put next to a kilt of his size. In order to get his size the supplier gave him a WRAF skirt and told him to try it on. 5 minutes later poor scrote appears from said cubicle to ask " do you have anything smaller?"

 

[North Sea Tiger]

The best one i ever saw was at a certain scottish airbase in the moray firth. We hooked up with clothing stores and got them to send the newbie a chit telling him to go to stores for his no 1 Home dress. Of course with this being Scotland No 1 Home dress would be a kilt would it not? Poor lad had never left yorkshire in his life so fell hook line and sinker and tootled off to supply. When he got there he was reliably informed that Kilts cost a proper penny (about 500 quid) and that his name would be put next to a kilt of his size. In order to get his size the supplier gave him a WRAF skirt and told him to try it on. 5 minutes later poor scrote appears from said cubicle to ask " do you have anything smaller?"

Know this was also played on an Irish TCO but he had his photo taken on exiting the cubicle .. .. seems to be a favourite at ISK.

 

[North Sea Tiger]

On posting to a certain German Air Defence Base in the Early 90's the wind up went as follows .. New Guys were told that the Med Centre required a Sperm Sample under German Law .. New Guy would turn up at the Med Centre and be pointed toward a cubicle with a Porn Mag and a cup for the deposit .. upon leaving New Guy would hand this to the Female Medic at the desk who would put it below the level of the desk and swap it for a identical cup that she would have filled earlier with a bit of flour and water .. look on the New Guys face when she swigged this down and went "Yup thats fine mate !!" was priceless .. the chorus of "Oi w****r" when he enetered his section bar even more so ..

 

[Wing boy]

It must be a commcen thing then cos this one was a TCO as well, he was a geordie though

 

[Stax]

Ah, the old "contaminated oxygen". 2 X Poly bags, heat sealed, one inside the other, 2 X F731, LAC Ferknuckle clad in paper suit, over boots, respirator etc sent to the Oxy bay for disposal of said contaminant. The look on his face when the hoary old chiefy told him to "ferk off and stop wasting my time you cnut!" priceless!

 

[Wing boy]

Ah I have just remembered another classic, little scrote gets sent to the Wobbly with a "discharged" fire extinguisher and 'paperwork' for the wobbly to sign. Scrote stands in front of desk while w.o. opens the paper work which reads,
"give me the day off you fat b**tard or i will brain you with this fire extinguisher!!!" que mahoosive wobbly explosion