New recruit standards

[wobbly]

I don't know if its me, but the substandards we are getting through the doors today aren't fit to slobber over your Big Mac when serving you at the said burger joint. All that the forces are concerned about is hight qualified people, which is great as long as they have their fare share of the old stuff Common Sense.

A few examples.

A rear trestle was fitted on a Tornado as the seats were out. I sent an SAC to check the engine oils and as I walked across the hangar floor there he was, kicking the $h!t out of the trestle in an attempt to get the engine doors open. When questioned he said he was taking the trestle out to open the engine doors (Been on type 18 months)........"What about the access panels you fookwit." was my reply. I shudder at the consequences if I had not stopped this idiot with zero common sense.

The next one was the above airman who fitted SPS and APU mag plugs with no oil seals on......after being FULLY briefed and handing him both the seals and the mag chip box. I know you may say that supervision was the key, but it was only that which stopped that scenario going any further.

Both stories were about the same person.......and to top it off this fruit loop is now an Engineeering Officer........would you believe it?

Oh, and another story about this %^$£&£ Ahem......

It was the day of his Station Board. I was sat at the trade desk when I get a phone call. "Hello, is SAC idiot there please". "Im afraid he is sitting his station board this morning and won't be back until this afternoon " I replied. "I am the boards officer I/C and he hasnt turned up, could you please find out where he is?"

So off I went, phoned his house and got his girlfriend. "Where is Fookwit?", I said...."He's running a little late, he's in the shower and he has to Iron his shirt". At this point I told her to get the little $h!t out of the shower and to the phone, which he did. After about 5 minutes of one way conversation he got his shit together and hurried to his station board, and eventually found out that he PASSED!!!

Amazing...........

Your comments on similar things please.............

 

[goatblower]

wobbly, you cannot believe the plebs I have had the pleasure of......

There was this one time at band camp... errr i mean at a FJ camp in bosch land and one of the training cell trainees was marshalling a mighty tonka into a tight HAS....as it turned he leaped out of the way and hid behind a radome STC.......oh yess, you guessed it, the STC was empty and the efflux blew it on top of him.... He was from then on called RADAR!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately mate common sense aint fookin too common......

When I was learning my job, I had a good upbringing, the odd beating by the chief behind the hanger when I fooked up, and off course the now banned corporate humiliation when you got too big for your boots......didnt do me any harm.....

Apparently though, the men we are getting now are the cream of the people that apply, so its a good job we aint asking for gold top!!!!!

You could say that we are getting the stackers of yesteryear!!!!!!

 

[sausage2]

I worked with a SAC once who was a complete f*ckwit. He could not be trusted to to anything.

One day me and my mate was talking in the hanger, when a massive bang was heared. Rushing to the scene, we were confronted with the SAC spread eagle on the floor, with bits of rubber everywhere.

So we help him up asking if he was ok and what had happened. His reply

"well I was inflating this tyre and it just burst."

Us " what pressure was you going to"

SAC f*ckwit "45 Bar"

Us "f*cking hell it's ment to be 45 psi you tw*t"

SAC f*ckwit " Oh thats why it happened last time as well then"

Us " "

He ended up in the role bay after thet sewing broken seats.

You could say that we are getting the stackers of yesteryear!!!!!!

This bloke made PTI's look clever.

 

[MiniG]

Mind you it's not just these days .....

Back in the early eighties (yes I know, you were probably still in school!) we used to get the good old BEngOs come up to Sealand to work on the"shop floor" for a while to broaden their knowledge. One highly educated bright spark tasked with repairing a printed circuit board from the "mighty leaping heap" autostab system,was so pleased at having completed his little soldering task, laid the soldering iron down on the bench, not back in the holder as instructed, admired his "handy work" and promptly picked it up again by the hot end.

 

[dkh51250]

Having spent more than just a little time as a recruiter, it is my proud duty to inform you that stackers required a higher GAI score than their techie counterparts.

 

[tufty]

The title of this is slightly off I think. They are'nt all bad these days (are they?)

 

[sumps]

A is for Armour and ...

A is for Armour and ...


dkh51250

If you have to score so hlghly to fluff duvets how come they get payed less? - they can't be that switched on now can they?

I digress

Meanwhile...
Germany late 80s - Tornados

SAC plumber (had to be!)

Carrying out refuel during turn round, switches front fuel group off!!! Plane sit on it’s ar5e - Charge 1

Same SAC, drives into the HAS at full pelt on a Wendy, between 1200kg tank and BOZ pod, takes the fin on the tank off as well as the back end of the tank - putting the left hand side of the AC into Pronto-Auto-Defuel!!!! - Charge 2

Same SAC...still... Drives same Wendy + new bod, into same HAS with same AC inside (only V'slowly this time).
Positions Wendy ready for a tank drop. Keen to impress the new bod he decides to drop the tank on his own (No supervisor needed here!?! ) - puts pin in hole and turns!!!! Tank drops...only its FULL!!! Tank pushes Wendy forks down to the ground - RAPIDLY. New bod sitting on the box at the back of the Wendy gets airborne equally as rapidly. Lands on spine of AC...Braking his Knees on impact.

- STRIKE 3 Y'ER OUT 28 days inside!!!!!

Couldn't of happened to any one better!!!! (IMHO)

S

 

[beerengineer]

its everywhere

its everywhere

Had one SAC myself (not biblically.....) after all the fairies had spent all of three days on one IFF snag, finally having to rewire the whole thing, said SAC announced to the assemled crowd (which had grown to some size, and included the Floppy Sausage, the SENGO, two Cheifs and assorted indians) that he had finally worked out what IFF stood for.....
Many expectant expressions.......
"It Is F***ed".........................

 

[dkh51250]

Ah well sumps, in the main they tend to go on to bigger and better things and they also know how to spell (payed=paid) numpty

 

[Verbage De'rivell]

dkh51250

Ah well sumps, in the main they tend to go on to bigger and better things

Utter tosh boy! - any more of that and you will find your self in the fight club - with or with out a manual demand!

 

[dkh51250]

I can only attribute the poor grammar and spelling to the stopping of free school milk. The stackers were not responsible for THAT.

 

[Standards]

We all have plenty of examples of so called idiots. but what are WE doing about them? I did a few daft things when I was inexperienced. Difference is, I (and I imagine, you) had strong JNCO's to sort us out. Where are the strong JNCO's now? Perhaps you are a JNCO? Maybe you find it easier to come on here and moan than do anything about these problem children?

Just saying!

Standards

 

[wobbly]

Yes, I agree with you in some respects. However, the JNCO's of today are always getting it in the neck.

One little story here.

A chief not so long ago had a dig at a friend of mine for flying off the handle. This Chief decided to get personal in front of everyone slagging all the JNCO's off for not being able to handle their jobs....."You can't hack it you lot, your all soft"

Now my friend stood their and took it on the chin. Not being one to side step and argument I decided to take up the fight as I thought it was my duty to remind this Chief of a few things.

I aksed the Chief "So, how many lads did you have on shift when you were a mighty Junior" to which he replied "Ah it was luxury back in 1976, We had 9 Erks, 4 Cpls, 2 Sgts and a Chief on the trade desk, loads of time off and that". This was the only ammunition I needed and hit em with both barrels "So Chief, The juniors of today can't hack it? That lad has 1 SAC, and himself on shift, he has a full program to meet, he also has to lose that 1 man to guard in the morning so he has to let him go at midnight. He has just got back from 8 weels in the desert and he has just been told he's back out there in 4 weeks time as someone has pulled a sicky.......and he still works his ass off and meets the program, and you have the cheek to say he cant hack it?" Funny old thing I got no reply. The problem is that there is no longer the time to give our lads and lasses the one to ones we used to get, even though I try to do it as much as I can......

The Air Force is a different place today, its no longer the cushy place it used to be and I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to slamming the young ones today. However, don't get me wrong, the lads n lasses are ok, but some of them have zero common sense and thats what worries me. Inexperience doesnt mean you have no common sense, and I myself made some mistakes when I was young, but I learnt from it. Common sense isnt something you learn, its something your born or brought up with.

Mind you, I bet the Chiefs of yesteryear were saying this about us lot back then.....Bugger!

 

[dkh51250]

Never forget, you are getting the cream of what is available from civvy street. Back in the dark days stations used to moan about the training units. They in turn blamed Swinderby, who blamed the recruiters, who blamed the schools. Now, who wants to be a teacher?

 

[Wg Cdr ComfeyChair-Smyth]

I blame Swinderby too, it was too bloody far to walk to the train station, carrying the old 2 flt kit bag and a copy of Edith Piaf naked on the cover of her lastest album - Titled " Shit Songs for the French" - Bloody Foriegners!

Political Correctness is the last refuge for non-confrontationalists.

 

[dkh51250]

There we go Wg Cdr. Declining standards! You should have been doubling to the station , not walking.

 

[Wg Cdr ComfeyChair-Smyth]

I do believe I should have been chauferred (never mind walking/doubling), but alas the recruitment brochure was a tad misleading..... Will have to take this issue up with AVM Crotchless-Underclangers The next time I see him for a session of 18 holes of cross country arselicking with the good old assesment sticks...what...what...what!

 

[Pistonbroke]

Spent a tour in Akrotiri 95-98 on VAHS. As I was leaving we had two LACs posted out to us direct from training What was the thinking behind that? I couldn't get them up to Ops standard cause all we did was wave hello/goodbye to Hercs all day, (in between the odd Keo and a glass of Kokkenelli).

Good luck to guys, I suppose. Given the same choise I would say many thanks Sir. But tours at places like that are few and far between. Does it still go on?

 

[Howie]

Greetings!

Also at at Tonka base in the Big Friendly Giant:

SAC Liney type while driving a Tracker as part of a towing team managed to bash BOTH of a jets wings as he pushed it into a HAS! bouncing off both walls.

The same chap was from a famous Scottish Island and we had installed the Satellite broadcasting service; he watched Sky news for about 4 hours one day and announced: “ there’s not much about Skye on Sky News”

he missed his leaving beer call as well because he rolled his car driving too it. he was spotted in the naafi in a neck brace..

Regards
H

 

[reddeathdrinker]

Spent a tour in Akrotiri 95-98 on VAHS. As I was leaving we had two LACs posted out to us direct from training What was the thinking behind that? I couldn't get them up to Ops standard cause all we did was wave hello/goodbye to Hercs all day, (in between the odd Keo and a glass of Kokkenelli).

Good luck to guys, I suppose. Given the same choise I would say many thanks Sir. But tours at places like that are few and far between. Does it still go on?

Not for us aircraft techies. I know plenty of ground leckies that went straight to one of the SU's in Cyprus straight from training. Bar-stewards! Closest I got to being posted to Cyprus was 10 days with a broken jet........