Mick Nash - The Man, The Legend

[Marshalloftheraf]

I can't believe its not been done before...

Now is the chance for all of those dodgey Mick Nash Stories to be put down and recorded for all and forever in Cyberspace. For those who don't know, you soon will, for those that do, you all have a story, let it be told.

We will then try and work out what really happened... I'm sure there have been many chinese whispers and many of the stories of this, the horribleist of men, have been blown out of proportion...

But if there is a dispute between truth and the ledgend, print the ledgend!


(Disclaimer - All legal issues regarding any future posts are not the responsibility of me or the poster, we are simply stating what we believe to have happened! I'm sorry)

 

[Marshalloftheraf]

Anyone that knows more, fill in the blanks...

Ex Copper - Kicked out for being on front page of National paper, swinging a (either 2by4 or deck chair - depending on story) during a MOD fight.

Owned a Brie (Or other dairy product) in a safe in big J for over a year (?) known only as 'the growth'

Knew exactly when to let rip to leave 'noxious gas' in the tubes...

Built a coffin for himself in resettlement woodwork classes.

Notch in the bedpost for the Curchinator... And famous for a comment years later(Nuff said)

PANG - (Nuff Said)

Wore glasses in the office with no lenses???

Would scare to death all baby Officers in the Big J by standing to attention behind his desk briskly, (screaming Sir or Ma'am) and not moving until they told him to stand at ease or carry on ... random and very off putting!

Had a random black and white framed picture of a Sqn Ldr on his desk... When asked, it was someone he knocked out years ago.

Come on you lot do the rest... Elaborate or add more...

 

[Standards]

Is this all about the same man or many different stories?

Standards!

 

[Iron Felix]

Donuts...

Donuts...

The man was a legend. He was once bet that he couldn't scoff 30 jam donuts in 30 minutes and accepted...not realising that he was a borderline diabetic.

Cue very ill looking Nasher...DT_Xtremez_35:

 

[Magnum Magnum PI]

He is a dirty bar steward !

I have heard many a story and witnessed a few...

Bloody nice bloke though!

 

[Cat of Shadows]

Aaah the Legend of Nash!!

Aaah the Legend of Nash!!

MRAF, all of your inputs are correct, there really are not enough people like the Nasher in the service anymore.................sadly you could also place the name of Sneddon on this thread aswel!!!

As for PANG, having actually been there when it happened along with Will Stewart (now long left), it still makes me roar with laughter whenever I think about it.................tears are rolling now! I'm not sure whether I should be the one to post that one in its entirety at the moment, but I will correct (tech spec) it if someone else wants to give it a go.

The other one you have missed is the endless story of his 'bottled gifts' to young unsuspecting JOs that he would present to you with full military pomp and decorum and swear you to keep it forever. His to me sat on my desk for at least 4 months before I was asked to remove it by the then civi Flt Cdr............................so I just opened it in front of him!!!!!!! (He was never the same again).

The Ex-police officer story is very true and was actually the reason he joined the RAF as he was kicked out of the Civi bill for police brutality.

The man was and is a legend...........we so desperately need more like him.

 

[Cat of Shadows]

Is this all about the same man or many different stories?

Standards!

As you will gather very quickly if you keep reading in to this thread Standards these stories are all about one man.

He really was a legend. Retired from the RAF some 7 years ago as a FS PI and took with him the last vestiges of what being in the RAF was really all about...................bl***y good operator, fantastic bloke and all round prankster.

I promise you fella, if people contribute to this thread they way they should for this one it will provide enough belly laughs for all!!!

 

[stella]

Nasher

Nasher

C'mon, Int Or Wot - I know that you have a lot of legends on this guy - having never had the pleasure of meeting him at the Big J, his tales remain very worthy of having their own thread on the mightly E-Goat!!!

:raf:

 

[In Tor Wot]

Nash the ledgend!

Nash the ledgend!

I had the pleasure (?) of being Mick's flt cdr for about 18 months in the big J - aged me nearly 10 years! :raf:

All time classic was the taking of the very young and fresh-faced plt officer, on his 2nd day, around the big J, ostensibly to show him where everything was, and introduce him to everyone (and I do mean everyone) as his new catamite. Said young PO was a little confused and asked the Nasher what a catamite was. Nasher’s reply was that it was a young person under the supervision/training of a SNCO. Naïve plt off smiles, accepts the statement as the truth (the fool), and not only carried on being introduced as the catamite but was overheard on a number of occasions introducing himself as Nasher’s catamite.

As soon as I heard Mick call him his catamite I looked it up . . . . . couldn’t stop laughing so had to leave the room. About three days later I called the Pilsbury Dough Boy (for it was he) over and quietly asked him whether he’d looked up the meaning of the word? He went back to his desk with my dictionary and went very red before storming over to Mick’s desk and yelling “Sergeant Nash, I’m not your passive sodomite!!!” DT_Xtremez_30:

 

[stella]

Nasher

Nasher

Quality - it just doesn't get any better than that! I knew I could rely on you Int Or Wot for a classic tale of the Legend.

DT_Xtremez_19: DT_Xtremez_19:

 

[In Tor Wot]

The ledgend lives on . . . .

The ledgend lives on . . . .

Nasher was a keen sailor and, with a wife as head of advertising for Autocar magazine he could afford to indulge his passion with a 32ft yacht moored in Suffolk. Over a period of about 2 months we were entertained by Mick’s commentary on his purchase of a new boat, what he was looking for, how much, the benefits/drawbacks of diesel heaters etc. He came in one morning beaming his evil little grin and told us that he’d found an ideal yacht – 6berth, 38ft ocean-going and cheap. Well not cheap exactly, it belonged to a widow and he thought he could beat her down on the price. DT_Xtremez_27:

Next instalment came when he found that the husband had died on the boat and the widow just wanted to get shot of it. Needless to say Mick was all tea and sympathy and knocked another £15k off an already low price.

He took her photos of the boat (just to remind her where her husband died) and a contract for her to sign . . . and bought the boat for almost half its value. He came into work on a Monday morning grinning like the Cheshire Cat. He’d been down to inspect his new yacht only to find that the couple had been on a booze-cruise on their maiden voyage when, on the return leg, the husband had had a heart attack and died. The wife managed to fire some smoke and had been brought in by a lifeboat. However, the result of their cruise was left on board, hidden around the yacht.

Not only had he beaten the poor woman down to a ridiculously low price but he’d got about 10 bottles of vodka, 20 bottles of gin and an unknown quantity of brandy and other spirits (unknown because several months later he was still finding bottles).

Only the Nasher could come up with an all-time good deal - and a sh1t-load of free hooch thrown in!! DT_Xtremez_28:

 

[Bombe Suprise]

Goin' for a Snip..

Goin' for a Snip..

And who can forget when Monsieur N decided to end his oat-sowing days and go for a simple little op....

He appears about 2 days later, walking like he just got off a large horse, and then decides to regale the creche audience as to exactly what occurred, including such gruesome details as how when certain bits were pulled, the upper body moved as if on a string DT_Xtremez_34:

I cant remember how he managed to pop a few stitches, but yet again we were faced with tales of the gory details of how bits were now oozing, rather strangely coloured and the size of tennis balls - oh and he still managed his John Wayne walking impersonation, to the delight of the JOs at the time.

Just so long as his Curchinations are never toldDT_Xtremez_17:

 

[Iron Felix]

Soviet Invasion

Soviet Invasion

I forgot to post this earlier. When Nasher was in the DIS as a civvie, he had a photo of him on his desk.

The photo was taken in the 1970/1980s when he was on det somewhere cold and snowy. He had driven a bus onto Soviet territory and was photographed with his trousers and y-fronts round his ankles while grinning like said Cheshire Cat having just single handedly invaded the CCCP.

Not surprisingly, he made his escape before the KGB could react...and for a cold day, if that view didn't put the wind up the Reds, nothing else would!

DT_Xtremez_42:

 

[Cat of Shadows]

What's going on, this thread has just died, that should never have happened.........................................c'mon you seniors out there, we know you are lurking, show yourselves by getting some legendary stories about the Nash down on here.

 

[7010RJS]

Mick the legend

Mick the legend

I first met Mick in 1984 in the RIC at Colt. I had been advised to avoid him as "he was a bad influence". Naturally I sought him out asap, his desk in the PI's room was different to the others - it was scruffy, the drawers contained lots of non-military items, some rotting.

The main item of interest was his green service issue PI case, much scuffed from use covered in decals and zaps. When the lid was lifted the contents were a jumble of things that relected his various military and non military interests. The most obvious being photos of persons of the opposite sex. Mick did not like them young, pert and lovely, no his tastes were more "developed" he had pictures of gross, fat, ugly women of indetirminate age with rolls of fat and sagging flesh! They were fascinating and drew the more impressionable aircrew, JR's etc.

He was at various times ordered to lock the case, place it in a locked drawer and on one occasion promised a painful death by OC RIC if it was left open on his desk when royalty was due to visit.

More soon!

Vocati Veniemus

 

[7010RJS]

Mick makes a spectacle of himself

Mick makes a spectacle of himself

The great man wears spectacles. He was constantly taking them off and rubbing his eyes - usually whilst haveing a conversation with anyone who seemed to be listening. His spectacles were like him - scruffy, the ear pieces fell off and he was regularly wandering around the RIC looking for the tiny screw! The lenses also fell out, to put them back in required tools not usually found on an RAF station, so for periods his spectacles only had one lens. This only became obvious when rubbing his eye through the empty frame, usually done whilst speaking to a baby pilot who was not sure if he should say anything to Mick!! Onlookers were very amused.

He therefore decided to make a false lens - this comprised a piece of thin cardboard decorated with a drawing of an eyeball. This was not to match his eyes, oh no, he drew the most colourful, ugly, diseased eye known to medical science. He then walked around the RIC wearing his new lens, the reaction ranged from a mild fright, horror, hysteria and from OC RIC a sense of humour failure!

Happy days.

 

[MyShineyAr$e]

Thanks you guys. I have not laughed so hard for ages. Where have the days of pure unadulterated tomfoolery gone. Bring back the Pig Board!!!

 

[Nasher]

The old bar steward is still alive

The old bar steward is still alive

He's living on his old wooden boat in Cartagena, flying the RAF ensign (legally) much to the consternation of the Spanish Armada who have a submarine base there.
Keep annoying the pompous - it's fun.DT_Xtremez_28:

 

[Wobbly_Jon]

My Gawd, He's Still Alive

My Gawd, He's Still Alive

First met Nasher during a visit to Wittering.

Day 1. Ripped the arris out of his pants.

Day 2. Came in to work, got a brew, sat down, let rip a fart loud enough to drown out the taxing Harrier and then proceeded to follow through.

Day 3. Lost his glasses on the pan and put a halt to flying for an hour or so.

Met him again a couple of years later at Big J.
It was refreshing to see that he had not changed a bit and, had added another string to his bow by scarring the living crap out of every baby officer who had the misfortune to come across his path

 

[Kryten]

When I first served in JARIC in 1990 the Nashmeister was a Sgt working "down the back end". During the early part of the year a fresh faced Army Lt gets posted in and, keen to make an impression, collars MN and admonishes him for his dress standards (shirt sleeves partially rolled down, tie off, hands in pockets etc), and setting a bad example to the Juniors...

MN turns to the young Lt and says "Sir, why don't you just fcuk off. Now". And promptly walks off.

Young Lt, suitably miffed, follows MN back to his office, but because of the nature of the work being carried out is unable to go in. So he waits for a few minutes, then bangs on the door.

A suitably dishevelled, yet not unattractive WAAFy Officer opens the door, looks conteptibly at the Lt in question and barks "Yes, what do you want?"

Lt replies "Excuse me, Ma'am, that Sgt over there.....he told me to fcuk off....."

WAAFy replies "Well best you do then"....and slams the door in his face...

priceless..