Gentle advice

[SirSaltyHelmet]

As a FOM in a tower, what is the best way to fook all the controllers off????? DT_Xtremez_28:

 

[J Y Kelly]

Rearrange the appraisal chain taking yourself out of it.

Slope a variety of jobs on to others as you don't get praised for doing them.

Hang around the back of the Approach Room brown nosing around the Boss as he talks to his Controllers. Try to join in the conversation by making almost amusing comments.

Sit around the crewroom all day making snide comments to the Controllers when they are called to console.

Tell the Sqn Warrant that you have done something when you obviously haven't.

Continuously tell everyone how good you are at your job and only a gnats breath away from promotion.


( The above may result in tears.)

 

[DET1]

Start work 0830 ish finish 1600 ish, sorry that is FOM hours.

 

[SirSaltyHelmet]

Hey this is great.... Note to self, become bitter and twisted...NEXT::

 

[The Controller]

As a FOM in a tower, what is the best way to fook all the controllers off????? DT_Xtremez_28:

Use plenty of Brylcream...and a rubber glove!

What????

Just me then??

 

[SirSaltyHelmet]

Ah glove eh, never tried but willing to learn!!

 

[Hmmmm]

Insist that they actually read airfield driving orders before issuing a permit.

Ban FOAs from making more than one brew per shift.

Take a lunch break of more than 30 minutes.

Issue yourself with pointless TORs that take up over half of the Controllers' Order Book.

Lurk in the ACR/VCR.

Send the driver on another job at bacon buttie/shift changeover time.

Tell the supervisor that you cannot man the RVR because nobody is trained/the steps are a HASW hazard.

Decide to take the snow flags in despite the fact that they are not snow flags.

Charge an airman thus forcing the 1st tourist fg off to learn how to run an orderly room.

Rearrange the car park such that PFOM's slot is next to SATCO's, followed by the Supervisor/ATCO ic etc etc


Enough to start with?

 

[SirSaltyHelmet]

Insist that they actually read airfield driving orders before issuing a permit.

Ban FOAs from making more than one brew per shift.

Take a lunch break of more than 30 minutes.

Issue yourself with pointless TORs that take up over half of the Controllers' Order Book.

Lurk in the ACR/VCR.

Send the driver on another job at bacon buttie/shift changeover time.

Tell the supervisor that you cannot man the RVR because nobody is trained/the steps are a HASW hazard.

Decide to take the snow flags in despite the fact that they are not snow flags.

Charge an airman thus forcing the 1st tourist fg off to learn how to run an orderly room.

Rearrange the car park such that PFOM's slot is next to SATCO's, followed by the Supervisor/ATCO ic etc etc


Enough to start with?

Time out Mr Chairman, whats this one brew per shift bollox? Get off your fat ar$e and make your own, unless you have a kettle phobia!

If they are not snow flags than dont call them snow flags!

Forcing a 1st tourist to learn how to run an orderly room? If he wants a flight commander job then he has to take the crap that goes with it!

Oh I am relishing all this!!

 

[Chaka]

Here are some of my favourites (only witnessed of course).

1. Find two Officer ladies sitting next to each other on console, go and collect FPS, and drop your guts while standing between said ladies, exit stage left.

2. Rim Controllers cups and don't tell them till your leaving do.

3. Bring in a big chocolate cake made with laxative, warn the Assts not to touch, then leave it in the Approach Room!

4. Make tea and coffee in the same cup, give to controller.

5. Hide aged WO's spectacles and watch him try to control.

6. Fill WRAF handbags with FPS just before they go home.

7. Put a SMRE/storno in Controllers rucksack jsut before they leave and call them as the go around the ring road.

8. Insert chinagraph leads into ciggie end,replace in packet, watch WO go on fire during fag break on Tower balcony.

 

[SirSaltyHelmet]

Thats more like it!! Might try them!

 

[HilstonPols]

Is it safe to assume then as you are asking for advice that SSH is soon to be a tower FOM? If so god help us err i mean well done SSHDT_Xtremez_15:

As I have never been qualified enough to be a FOM all I can say is do as you bloody well please! It is after all your trainset........oops did I say too much?

Good Luck in your new (I am assuming) postDT_Xtremez_28:

 

[SirSaltyHelmet]

I think my new office has a floor big enough for a trainset!!! DT_Xtremez_06:

 

[sooms]

Organise an all ranks dining in/out night, No5's to be worn so you can show off your large number of medals for doing more op dets than the rest of the trade. Works especially well on commissioned controllers who only have the Golden Jubilee Medal and SNCO controllers who only have a LSGCM and Golden Jubilee.

Only need one more to complete second row!!!

 

[SirSaltyHelmet]

Start work 0830 ish finish 1600 ish, sorry that is FOM hours.

The average shift for a controller at EGDL is????? Careful how you answer that Mr DET1

Sooms, if the boogers would give me an LSGCM then I would be on the second row!

 

[HilstonPols]

Unfortneately SSH the GC part of LSGCM means "GOOD CONDUCT" so unless you are lucky like me and they conviently lose parts of your sordid past, you aint getting one yet. DT_Xtremez_42:

 

[DET1]

Not sure where you are going with controllers hours at EGDL but am fairly sure my hours stand up to the FOM.

 

[Hmmmm]

I can tell you how to make a controller happy.

Disestablish yourself and get a TG17 cpl to manage the office. DT_Xtremez_15:

 

[Flopsie]

Qualifications!

Qualifications!

As I have never been qualified enough to be a FOM

Qualifications? DT_Xtremez_24: The only things you need to be a FOM are the items in my avatar!

(by the way Dunn an Co do the best slippers)

 

[insideinfoman]

Surely you're missing the large mug of coffee/tea?

DT_Xtremez_28:

 

[SirSaltyHelmet]

Not sure where you are going with controllers hours at EGDL but am fairly sure my hours stand up to the FOM.

Does "stand up to" mean "same as"