Advise reqired!

[erindoors]

Ladies last night i found myself in the strangest of situations. My imindoors used the " i'm to tired" excuse!!! Shocking i know and as you can imagine i found myself stumped as to what to do next so i just turned over and went to sleep ...did i act correctly or is there a better way to deal with this?

 

[sausage2]

Sorry to encroach on your bird bit, but you'll probably find he cracked one off earlier and couldn't get it up. I do this all the time. Sex is ok, but you can't beat the real thing.

 

[Justacabbie]

From my burds perspective her own advice seems to be this.

Look at me in disbelief.
Huff and puff whilst rolling around making it evident somethings wrong.
Scream and shout at me as to what a selfish fecker I am rejecting her advances.
Lay there expecting me to feel horny after a right old dressing down!
Problem solved.....(cough)

 

[Tin basher]

Buy a rabbitDT_Xtremez_42:

 

[erindoors]

Sausage2

I see where your coming from but i find it hard to believe that said knocked one actually happened as he was to busy cooking the tea, doing the laundry and washing up!

JustaCabbie

I can see where she's coming from and how that might make me feel better but it's not gonna get me anything except a good nights sleep

Tin basher

Thank you for your suggestion however i do indeed have a rabbit but due to imindoors not purchasing me any new batteries it deemed said item as totally useless

 

[vim_fuego]

I'm assuming you are married? In that case you both signed the registar and therefore must abide by the small print that doubless, like the rest of us, you didn't notice that states that all that disgusting poking and groping business stops from that day on...He was just trying to stay on the right side of the law.

 

[mad_collie]

Thank you for your suggestion however i do indeed have a rabbit but due to imindoors not purchasing me any new batteries it deemed said item as totally useless

Go out and contract Parkinson's disease from someone. No batteries required.

 

[Dave-exfairy]

Sausage2

I see where your coming from but i find it hard to believe that said knocked one actually happened as he was to busy cooking the tea, doing the laundry and washing up!

Well there you go then, he was too fecking tired from doing YOUR job, biatch! DT_Xtremez_14:

 

[The Masked Geek]

I can think of two causes:

1. You repulse him.

2. He's gay.

 

[AllWoman]

You seriously mean you didn't sort yourself out?? Your fingers don't need batteriesDT_Xtremez_42:
Furthermore what sort of man are you married to who wasn't up for it at any time of the day or night.........poor choices girl, maybe its time to trade him in???

 

[RAF Bird]

I'm with AW here... if I was horny and my fella 'had a headache' then I'd just lay there and do it myself while he lays next to me. I'd be louder than normal and last as long as I could just to annoy him!!!.... In fact as I am lucky owner of an iphone and there is a porn site that has specially formatted it's porn vids to watch on the iphone, I would have laid watching that as well..... bonus points would be that by the time I was finished playing he would have been listening to porn and me getting myself off... he would then be horny just as I fell asleep leaving him threaders that he was 'too tired' earlier!! Win win if you ask me!

 

[erindoors]

Vim

i did read the fine print therefore i accept that i may well be at equal fault but there's one small niggling doubt that i have.......i was beginning to perform a act of lovemaking that every man is supposed to be rendered helplessly too therefore as stated in the small print...... " in the event of oral all bets are off" .... yet the oral i recieved from imindoors was of a very different kind...ergo my problem!

Mad Collie

I'm off out tonight to look for a suitable canditate ty for your sound advise

Dave exFairy

Granted and i can now fully appreciate that he possibly wasn't giving me a line and that he was truly "Tired". I will ensure that this will never happen again, lesson learnt.....he can call for a take away in future

 

[erindoors]

The masked geek

I can assure you that he is not gay and yes i may have added a smidge of weight but i refuse to believe that i repulse him.....however the more i think about it he has taken to turning the light off before he gets under the sheets. Can you suggest anything that might solve this issue?

AllWoman

I do indeed sort myself out, something i learnt to do to great affect during my marriage to a dark sider (already been through the trading in route), but as i'm sure you can feel sympathy its just not the same when you feel well up for a bit of the other.

RAF Bird

Yes yes yessssssssssssssssss

 

[The Masked Geek]

however the more i think about it he has taken to turning the light off before he gets under the sheets. Can you suggest anything that might solve this issue?

Do what my wife did:

Drop down to a size 8/10 (from a size 16 in her case) and dress like a slut. DT_Xtremez_14:

 

[The Masked Geek]

I'd just lay there and do it myself while he lays next to me. I'd be louder than normal and last as long as I could

Can you record that and post a sound clip? DT_Xtremez_14:

 

[RockapeRob64]

The WRAF's in Akrotiri circa 1982-85 used to nick the co2 canisters out of the fire extinguishers. (they were about 6-7 inches long with a 4inch girth).

What I'm trying to say is improvise........or have an affair of courseDT_Xtremez_30:

 

[Scaley brat]

what sort of man are you married to who wasn't up for it at any time of the day or night.........poor choices girl, maybe its time to trade him in???

I believe TMG already answered that.... do keep up dear DT_Xtremez_15:

2. He's gay.

 

[erindoors]

well thankfully this quote has not reared its ugly head again (yet) but i have taken all of your advise on board and will put in place all said items just in case...

 

[The Masked Geek]

Good news and let's face it, he may have just been knackered; I'll keep my metaphorical fingers crossed for you. DT_Xtremez_14:

 

[Ex-Splitter and Proud]

Tip for Mrs erindoors - chat up Mrs ernextdoor, tie the old f4rt down and show him how to hum the national anthem on a mouse's ear...


That should do itDT_Xtremez_30: