Stupid Linies

[Barch]

Come on, tell us your first hand experiences of Linies and their stupid acts, statements or questions.

I will leave this here to get the ball rolling ...

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[Late & Tired]

Come on, tell us your first hand experiences of Linies and their stupid acts, statements or questions.

I will leave this here to get the ball rolling ...

​

Hope he reported the fact that both the tyres appear to have a big fuel leak as well...

 

[ktuludays]

Obviously planning for severe side winds

Sent from my HUAWEI VNS-L31 using Tapatalk

 

[rocket scientist]

We had a liney on an F3 Sqn at Coningsby in the 90's/00's who had more than a passing resemblance to a famous British ski jumper. He was asked to go and do vehicle DI's one morning and when he came back in, the line controller asked what the "speedo readings" were. He said he'd forgotten to check, so he went back out and 5 minutes later came in and announced that the Land Rover had 90 miles/hour on the speedo, the Sherpa did 110 mph...etc etc...

 

[Tin basher]

Hope he reported the fact that both the tyres appear to have a big fuel leak as well...

Ah fuel leaks on the pan or perhaps not. Out on ground run with our Nav trainer whizz jet with Cpl TB as fire extinguisher operative and general safety bloke, Sooty JT inside in the drivers chair, newbie rigger SAC sat in the other chair just watching how its done and fat Cpl Sooty running the show. Fat Cpl Sooty needs a p1ss but also needs to keep his long lead on. Fat Cpl sooty p1sses up the port mainleg. Once the ground run is over and as we await the tractor keen as feck Newbie spots the liquid on the floor is it oil, de-icer, fuel ??? Using the tried and trusted liney finger he tests the taste of the mystery fluid to make his call. Sadly even after due deliberation he is unable to decide exactly what it is. Me and the jelly tot can't speak for stifled giggles so to save time Fat Cpl Sooty tells him what it is. A quiet ride back in the tractor.

 

[needsabiggerfuse]

Not I, but I know who it was. Mid-winter, end of a murky, foggy night shift, Lightnings all tucked up in the shed. Liney in a Land Rover spots a lonely Hoochin. Hooks it up to the Rover and tries to tow it into the hangar. The Rover has a really hard job getting moving but slowly, slowly gets there. Voice of an angry FS booms out across the shed, '... WTF d'ya think you're doing ...'. Liney looks around and finds that he is actually towing a snake of half a dozen Hoochins all hitched together.

 

[Barch]

We had a liney on an F3 Sqn at Coningsby in the 90's/00's who had more than a passing resemblance to a famous British ski jumper. He was asked to go and do vehicle DI's one morning and when he came back in, the line controller asked what the "speedo readings" were. He said he'd forgotten to check, so he went back out and 5 minutes later came in and announced that the Land Rover had 90 miles/hour on the speedo, the Sherpa did 110 mph...etc etc...

If the correct terminology had been used in the first place ...

 

[6A1]

One sunny day in Aki, fairy liney goes to a Vulcan to recharge the NBS boxes. Connects up his rig, tops the box off, gets in land rover and drives away with trolley attached! Vulcan did not move. Hoses do not have a lot of stretch but whip back fairly viciously. Riggers not impressed with repair to charging point.


And of course you haven't lived until you have had a trolly acc snake. Friday night at Topcliffe, all accs go back to the battery room for charging, 9 trolleys joined togetther with various tools as the regulation pin is missing. Get a bit of speed up on the tractor and................................they go everywhere. If you haven't seen it then it is as close to mayhem that you can get on the peritrack. Luckily, only us lineys left to see and sort out which involved 3 or so trips to deliver them safely. For you youngsters, a trolley acc weighed about a hundredweight or more and had a small jockey wheel at the front which you were supposed to lift for towing but inevitably was seized. There is a nice blue one in the Trenchard Museum!

 

[Spearmint]

A Navy AET who we will call 'Chiefy' was conducting a see in on a Harrier GR7. I was part of the Heavy Rects team towing back a T10 from tie down post engine change and as we trundled down the pan we noticed the young AET bringing the jet to a stop in quite an efficient manner.

Now 'Chiefy' was a total bellend, he just couldn't perform the simplist of tasks without messing up so in the tractor we all looked at each other in total amazement as this target of many other linies jokes performed the Liney dance exquisitely........until the pilot gave the signal that he was shutting his engine down which Chiefy acknowledged.....and promptly walked over with the intake blank and fed it into the compressor section to 'help slow it down'.......DT_Xtremez_42:

 

[MontyPlumbs]

A Navy AET who we will call 'Chiefy' was conducting a see in on a Harrier GR7. I was part of the Heavy Rects team towing back a T10 from tie down post engine change and as we trundled down the pan we noticed the young AET bringing the jet to a stop in quite an efficient manner.

Now 'Chiefy' was a total bellend, he just couldn't perform the simplist of tasks without messing up so in the tractor we all looked at each other in total amazement as this target of many other linies jokes performed the Liney dance exquisitely........until the pilot gave the signal that he was shutting his engine down which Chiefy acknowledged.....and promptly walked over with the intake blank and fed it into the compressor section to 'help slow it down'.......DT_Xtremez_42:

As soon as I saw the thread title I thought of this very famous incident!

Also, the shiny new AMM who reported a 'bird strike' cos he saw some blood specks on one of the blades, turns out a few thousand flies had died that afternoon and left their entrails on the LP1 fan

 

[Teh Wal]

Early 80's, Valley, one freezing cold winter, the "Frog Pond" (an EWS beside the 22Sqn/SARTU hangar) had a skin of ice on which 2 Hawk linies were bouncing another one in an attempt to get him wet and cold.
"If he goes through that ice..." I point out after watching in anticipation for a few minutes "then you 2 are going to suffer quite a bit too".
The realisation on their faces, as they tip-toed off the ice, was quite comedic to see... I still wish to this day that I'd kept my mouth shut though. DT_Xtremez_19:

 

[Rigga]

Trolley Acc's

Trolley Acc's

Shawbury...late 70's, bright sunny morning, Whirlwind Line:

Scene setting:

1. All Whirlwind instructor pilots think they are still SAR/SF and 'volunteer' for aircraft incidents and accidents in the midlands
2. 1st starts of the day require Trolley Acc support, cos ac batteries in those days were no better than car batteries.
3. There is no 3...
4. during this period rotor blades were being inspected for delamination using the highly developed 'acoustic reaction' method...aka, tapping a 10p piece on the blades surface to see if there was any dull thuds

So, we're relaxing in the crewroom when one of the hangar Cpl's wheels a staging over to one of the kites on the line, locks it in place and climbs up to start tapping the blades.

Soon after watching this palaver, one of the jockeys runs in and says "SAR Start on Whisky NOW! Line SNEC say's "Rigga, you do it, RUN!"

So Rigga runs...The crew turn up too, walking fast-ish, and jump into their places. the Trolley Acc is plugged in and waiting for their signal to power up.

Trolley Acc goes on - and a few hand signals later, they say to switch off and unplug, which I do with my normal speed and efficiency, pushing the Acc out of the rotor circle and dropping the Brake as I release it....but it doesn't Brake...and continues rolling slowly away from me, toward other helicopters. I still have to see this SAR start off, so I can't leave....Eeek!

Eventually, I get the dismissal and I start running. the Acc is about 60 yards away - but it seems miles to go after it. It's rolling toward the nose of another Whirlwind and it looks like its going to hit it...WOW! it doesn't hit it, but it disappears behind the nose and doesn't appear as expected in the other side (what the...?) The Whirly shudders....?

I'm still running like the clappers...I round the nose of the Whirly and I see...the hangar Cpl - hanging on to the Blade he was working on - with the Staging about 4 ft behind him!

OOPS! doesn't cover the next statements....

 

[Martin Blank]

Early 80's, Valley, one freezing cold winter, the "Frog Pond" (an EWS beside the 22Sqn/SARTU hangar) had a skin of ice on which 2 Hawk linies were bouncing another one in an attempt to get him wet and cold.
"If he goes through that ice..." I point out after watching in anticipation for a few minutes "then you 2 are going to suffer quite a bit too".
The realisation on their faces, as they tip-toed off the ice, was quite comedic to see... I still wish to this day that I'd kept my mouth shut though. DT_Xtremez_19:

I was there in the late 80's and a bunch of them were doing exactly the same, SeaHawk linies.
Same linies that I caught greasing the pig tails on an oxy trolley because they were a bit tight to screw in................
And filling a walkround kit from 0-3000 psi in one shot......... that squealed a bit and you could hear it ticking from the heat....

Mind you 22 Sqn were no better running late one morning and rushing to drag a wessex out at max speed they sheared the towing arm pin......... tow arm hit the deck, jack knifed and stuck through the tail.......

Mind you not adverse to the odd mishap myself while at Valley I connected a Hyd Distribution rig to the Gaydon Hanger hyd ring main and proceeded to do full self test......while I stood in an ever increasing pool of OM15, it had just been in for service and the gauges hadnt been reconnected.....

 

[Barch]

Honington early 80s one Monday morning after a weekend in Preston visiting family, I was sat in the crewroom with a bag of the Preston delicacy Black / Parched Pees.

In came the linies. What are you eating Barch? they asked.

Rabbit sh!t was my instant response but they need to be very fresh, here try some.

Hour later the Line Chief wanted to know why the linies were on the airfield heads down and occasionally stooping over to pick things up ....