A few years ago I found myself drafted off to Valley to perform 2 weeks of Guard Duty, whilst our future King indulged in a bit of work experience prior to joining the RAF.
The day of his arrival began and we were briefed on how it would all play out including present terrorist threats. Shortly after we realised it was all a ruse due to the dickhead Paparazzi swarming around the camp perimeter and trying their best to gain information, as how it did play out was nothing like the brief.
So, there I was stood on the checkpoint to the Zobs mess on the evening shift as it was getting dusky with my armed colleague swapping war dits, when we heard an old diesel engined vehicle (complete with whiny gearbox, erratic idle and the odd light backfire from the exhaust) approaching.
The brakes gave a high pitched squeal as the driver engaged them in response to my command for him to stop so that I could check his and his potential passengers ID's, I noted the lack of any vehicle pass. Obviously everyone's head was on a swivel given the situation and tensions were a notch or two above the norm.
The window wound down half way of the mini bus which had seen better days and looked like something I had travelled to school in as a kid.
"Can I see your ID please?" I say.
The driver flicks the dim light on and his face is partially illuminated along with his instantly recognisable aircrew onesie with Flt Lt rank tabs.
He smiles at me gripping his steering wheel and I repeat my question. He utters 'oh' and starts to pat himself down to locate his wallet, fumbling in the dark for his ID Card. He presents it to me and I note that his ID card is legitimate, just as I snap my heels together to commence my salute I hear a muffled giggle from the interior of the minibus's rear.
"Sir, who else is back there? I need to check all ID's before I let you proceed."
"Oh you don't need to check their ID's, I can vouch for them"
"Sorry Sir, but I can not allow that. ID's please."
"You really don't need to che....."
"Then I'm afraid I cannot allow......."
"Fine, guys ID's! Pass then forwards for this young man to check please!"
I receive only 2 more ID's, certain that there is at least one more passenger whose validity remains unchecked.
"Those are fine Sir, but I did say all ID's. Please pass the last passenger's ID forwards"
"You really don't want to check his ID Airman....."
"Just following orders Sir, ID please!" Putting on a slightly deeper less patient tone.
"Fine! I did warn you!" states the driver....as I start to peer through the timted windows, trying to identify what I'm dealing with.
And as if it was a well rehearsed windup designed to provide the minibus occupants with a jolly good giggle, all the lights in the minibus light up at once and in the window peering right back at me was the gurning face of our future King.
I wryly smile, realising it was a wind up and I snap another salute up as the entire bus erupts in laughter whilst the bus lurches on through my checkpoint to the Mess.
