Relationships in the RAF.

[Chevorelli]

Hello,

I am soon to be applying to join the RAF with the hope that I will succeed in a Fire Fighter Career. However my girlfriend is quite hesitant at the idea and she believes that there is alternative opportunities for me.

May that be true,I am really keen and interested in striving towards a fruitful career within the Royal Air Force and it'll be a huge bonus if I am able to have her support.

She is telling me that I am likely to be posted at somewhere distant in the country, and then be expected to completely move within months at the drop of a hat, and that I will consistently be sent away.

I have been trying to do a lot of research into all of this but I thought it may be a good idea to turn to a forum with people that have lived a similar situation and that are able to give me some insight?

From what I understand, being posted in the UK could potentially mean living in that area for 2-3 years? and I also believe that you'd be expected to go on a 4 month detachment within those 2-3 years?

I was hoping to settle the matter and provide some assurance for her!

If there is any RAF Firefighters, or any RAF personnel that can shed some light then that'll be greatly appreciated!

Thank you,

Tommy.

 

[briggfairy]

This is going to sound incredibly harsh but it is a question that you have to ask yourself:

If your girlfriend isn't supportive of your career choice and willing to support it then just how does she fit in with your future?

 

[Witty_Banter]

Hi Tommy,

Well your GF is pretty much spot on, to be honest. You'll be required to move to Halton for basic training (13 weeks(ish) if all goes to plan?), then move somewhere else for trade training (no idea where FFs train, sorry), then you'll be sent wherever you're needed. You have a small say in where you go, as in you can express a preference, but basically you'll go where you're told to go. And you'll be there for 3-5 years, until you're promoted and moved or ask to move (usually you have to be at a posting for a minimum of 18 months before manning will even consider posting you somewhere else). Whilst at any posting, you can expect to go on deployments, anything from a few weeks to 6 months+, exactly where and for how long will be dictated by your trade. Don't expect to be able to join up and then be permanently posted within 5 miles of your home - you could be posted anywhere in the UK, or posted overseas (I think that's still voluntary for most trades).

However, that doesn't mean that your GF can't opt to go with you after a while (if you choose to live off camp and pay private rent, or make a big commitment and get married).

But, if you live in Lands End or the West coast of Wales, for example, be prepared for a long-distance relationship, or possibly the end of your relationship altogether (a bit harsh, but realistic).

 

[FOMz]

You and she need to realise you are joining the RAF and not the Women's Auxiliary Balloon Corps, You will be sent away on Det (its part of the job). But when you are posted to a base you will be there for 2-3 years maybe longer.. and you get notice on postings.

There are so many more positives to focus on though, rather than the negatives.

But to echo Briggfairy's point... it takes a special sort of person to be with and stay in relationship with someone in the military and be in that lifestyle, if she can't support that mate - you need to make a decision.....

 

[Stevienics]

She's right. It's all of that and a whole lot more. Frankly, sounds like you are still relatively young.

I'd go for it anyway and push the envelope to test. You're going to have to sometime.

 

[Ronsuddes]

She's right. It's all of that and a whole lot more. Frankly, sounds like you are still relatively young.

I'd go for it anyway and push the envelope to test. You're going to have to sometime.

I don't know where you live in the country, but Durham fire brigade are recruiting Firefighters at the moment.

 

[rocket scientist]

I had a girlfriend when I joined up and the relationship lasted fairly well whilst she was living in Luton and I was posted to Swinderby, Halton then Marham but as soon as I applied for Germany it went out of the window.

All I'll say is if you're going to join up and let a relationship dictate where you're posted, then you might as well stay in Civvy street. Too many lads I've known have ended up at RAF "nearyamam" and missed out on what could have been a cracking career.

 

[Max Reheat]

It will be easier if you were married and she was willing to follow you around the UK or wherever you end up. That won't stop the tours of up to 6 months though and she will get lonely stuck there away from her family unless she's built up a good friends network where you are.

 

[Witty_Banter]

if you're going to join up and let a relationship dictate where you're posted, then you might as well stay in Civvy street. Too many lads I've known have ended up at RAF "nearyamam" and missed out on what could have been a cracking career.

This is a very good point - maybe you need to ask yourself why you're wanting to be a FF in the military, rather than a civvy one?

Is it because you really really really want to be a FF but the local joint won't employ you?
Is it because you really really want to join the military, and FF seems a career option that you'd enjoy?
Is it because you're really really fed up of where you live, and want to 'see the world' a bit? (don't get too hooked on this one - if you want to 'see the world', join the RN, not the RAF...we get to 'see Lincolnshire' more than anywhere else...).
Is it because you see the military as a good chance for a job with half decent pay?

Whatever the reason, you need to work out what it is, then sit down with your GF and see where it's going. Where does your future lie - with her, in the RAF, in the RAF, with her?

Don't forget, you'll be signing away your privilege of being able to go home whenever you want, for at least 9 years (unless you quit). But you also have to look beyond that - will you still be in the RAF in 20-30 years time? How does that impact on your thoughts toward your GF?

 

[foxOneFive]

I had a girlfriend when I joined up and the relationship lasted fairly well whilst she was living in Luton and I was posted to Swinderby, Halton then Marham but as soon as I applied for Germany it went out of the window.

All I'll say is if you're going to join up and let a relationship dictate where you're posted, then you might as well stay in Civvy street. Too many lads I've known have ended up at RAF "nearyamam" and missed out on what could have been a cracking career.

Totally agree with that. Had girly when I joined up at 17. Used to travel 170 miles home each weekend, but as time goes on you just grow apart and tend to treat your posting as your home as you meet new friends and find you have little in common when you see each other at the weekend. "In general, I don't believe long distance relationships work"
If you really are that much in love, you will need to take her with you I think.

 

[dessp2]

Bin her and smash a bird you meet in the NAAFI bop. Jobs a good un.

 

[br9mp81]

keep her at home and smash a bird you meet in the NAAFI bop. Jobs a good un.

fixed for you,free of charge.
iirc the furthest north RAFFS camp is waddo and the furthest south is odiham,fire cover for the mod is being handed over to a private contractor sometime,no seems to know when and/or what changes it could bring.