D
dkp1
Guest
Any hints for a friends and family guest night???
Dont want to offend and laydees
DKP1
Dont want to offend and laydees
DKP1
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T
The Green Scopie
Guest
dkp1 said:
Don't pass out at the table
DT_Xtremez_42:
T
TheHogwartsBEngO
Guest
If you tell jokes, keep them clean and PC. There are funny clean jokes. Have a look in the 'best joke in the world thread' - there are some gems in there.
And as it's a friends and family night - avoid RAF "in-jokes" - half of your audience probably won't get it.
If the PMC has asked you to read grace (ie no padre present) - think about a grace that praises family and friends (it doesn't have to be funny!) - obvious really but nicely sets the tone.
Hope this helps - enjoy the dinner!
And as it's a friends and family night - avoid RAF "in-jokes" - half of your audience probably won't get it.
If the PMC has asked you to read grace (ie no padre present) - think about a grace that praises family and friends (it doesn't have to be funny!) - obvious really but nicely sets the tone.
Hope this helps - enjoy the dinner!
Marshalloftheraf
MRAF
- 116
- 0
- 0
Get leathered up and make a tit of yourself. Especially if you are a Plt Off.
It's good career stuff.
Single stripers are teflon. You'll get a bollocking on monday morning, but that should be water off the ducks back.
All publicity is good publicity. Get a good name for yourself.
Then when you are a stalwart Flight Lieutenant or above, you can look back at what a prat you were!
All good stuff!
Drink your port before the toast, hold a long pause between ladies and gentlemen ........................................... the queen.
Rig up the table with practical jokes, fall into your desert, and don't forget to blow the punch line of your jokes half way through telling them...
Its the Mr. Vice way!
Good Luck... (Just don't VOM!)
It's good career stuff.
Single stripers are teflon. You'll get a bollocking on monday morning, but that should be water off the ducks back.
All publicity is good publicity. Get a good name for yourself.
Then when you are a stalwart Flight Lieutenant or above, you can look back at what a prat you were!
All good stuff!
Drink your port before the toast, hold a long pause between ladies and gentlemen ........................................... the queen.
Rig up the table with practical jokes, fall into your desert, and don't forget to blow the punch line of your jokes half way through telling them...
Its the Mr. Vice way!
Good Luck... (Just don't VOM!)
D
dkp1
Guest
I like the thought but as a near 30 year old flying officer......(turned to the darker sideDT_Xtremez_15: ) I may not be as bullet proof....
DT_Xtremez_15: ) I may not be as bullet proof....tag_lincoln
Corporal
- 331
- 0
- 0
Airman like behaviour
Airman like behaviour
In that case just go for it, once an erk, etc. Once you make Flt Lt people won't presume you're ex serving just a passed over Flt Lt, enjoy.DT_Xtremez_28:
Airman like behaviour
In that case just go for it, once an erk, etc. Once you make Flt Lt people won't presume you're ex serving just a passed over Flt Lt, enjoy.
DT_Xtremez_28:
M
maninthevan
Guest
Mr Vice......
Mr Vice......
Fellow E-Goaters...
I have been stiffed for Mr Vice at a future Ladies Guest Night and being a complete biff, I haven't got a clue as to what I am expected to do....
If anyone can give me any useful gen about the duties of Mr Vice and any handy things to make it go with a bang, I would be eternally grateful... You never know, you may even be in the crowd!!!
Thanks All..............
P.S. Lift PS's Ban, he was entertaining, in a rock sort of way......
Sorry MIAV, I moved this thread as there was already a Mr Vice thread open. Edit Wobbly.
Mr Vice......
Fellow E-Goaters...
I have been stiffed for Mr Vice at a future Ladies Guest Night and being a complete biff, I haven't got a clue as to what I am expected to do....
If anyone can give me any useful gen about the duties of Mr Vice and any handy things to make it go with a bang, I would be eternally grateful... You never know, you may even be in the crowd!!!
Thanks All..............
P.S. Lift PS's Ban, he was entertaining, in a rock sort of way......
Sorry MIAV, I moved this thread as there was already a Mr Vice thread open. Edit Wobbly.
Last edited by a moderator:
T
tonibaloni
Guest
try the selkirk grace, then tell a few risque jokes
iDT_Xtremez_30:
i
DT_Xtremez_30:
M
maninthevan
Guest
tonibaloni said:try the selkirk grace, then tell a few risque jokes
i
Gis a clue....... 'selkirk grace'??? Told you I'm new to all this malarky
DT_Xtremez_08:
T
tonibaloni
Guest
Selkirk Grace
Some hae meat and cannot eat.
Some cannot eat that want it:
But we hae meat and we can eat,
Sae let the Lord be thankit.
Robert Burns
(say it in a Jockanese accent)
Some hae meat and cannot eat.
Some cannot eat that want it:
But we hae meat and we can eat,
Sae let the Lord be thankit.
Robert Burns
(say it in a Jockanese accent)
M
maninthevan
Guest
Toni,
Thankyou for that, although I now fear making an even bigger arse of myself trying to speak in the 3rd world language.....
Thanks again
P.S. Bring back Penguin!!!!
Thankyou for that, although I now fear making an even bigger arse of myself trying to speak in the 3rd world language.....
Thanks again
P.S. Bring back Penguin!!!!
T
tonibaloni
Guest
thats what I get for trying to educate some people,to drag them from the primordial soup!
come on Laarson!!
give us a hat trick tuesday!
come on Laarson!!
give us a hat trick tuesday!
M
maninthevan
Guest
tonibaloni said:
Toni,
Sorry m8, wasn't being nasty.... Just meant that I am crap with accents. Have enough probs with my own.....
Honestly though peeps...... Where can I find out what the duties etc are for 'performing' Mr Vice...
Just found out, that it is the SWO's Dining out as well.... BUGGER!!!!!
DT_Xtremez_42:
T
tonibaloni
Guest
I was only kidding as well, but the Selkirk grace can be delivered in any accent, it would just be a bit different. as for Mr Vice, have a chat with the CMC, see what is expected, but it normally is beholden to keep the mess members amused with a couple of naff jokes etc. then when the top table are finished you keep the crowd going until the top table have got to the bar first.
G
garvey
Guest
grace(less)
grace(less)
An old rowing club one I recall was:
We thank thee, Lord, for Jesus kind
Who turned the water into wine
We thank thee too, for all these men
About to turn it back again
or, as a toast:
Here's to the happiest days of our lives
Spent in the arms of other men's wives
Gentlemen - our mothers!
grace(less)
tonibaloni said:
An old rowing club one I recall was:
We thank thee, Lord, for Jesus kind
Who turned the water into wine
We thank thee too, for all these men
About to turn it back again
or, as a toast:
Here's to the happiest days of our lives
Spent in the arms of other men's wives
Gentlemen - our mothers!
M
maninthevan
Guest
I like it........!!
Keep them coming...............DT_Xtremez_30:
Keep them coming...............
DT_Xtremez_30:
M
MrCheeks
Guest
Some die from drinking whiskey,
some die from drinking beer.
Some die from Emphasemia,
and some from being queer.
But of all the great diseases there are none to compare,
with the drip drip drip of a syphylis pr*ck and the loss of pubic hair......
{Pause to take in the shocked faces.......}
Gentlemen - To the invention of Penacillin
Only for a Mr Vice wearing a Titanium vest and ear def's
some die from drinking beer.
Some die from Emphasemia,
and some from being queer.
But of all the great diseases there are none to compare,
with the drip drip drip of a syphylis pr*ck and the loss of pubic hair......
{Pause to take in the shocked faces.......}
Gentlemen - To the invention of Penacillin
Only for a Mr Vice wearing a Titanium vest and ear def's
S
Silverback
Guest
For a novel grace - visit the padre; if he's (she's) any good he'll have a shed load of pre-scripted chants for all occasions, usually a few jolly jape ones at that. For a good joke, get the latest FHM, NUTS, or the like and choose a not so filthy one. With all the interuptions and heckling it should last the requisite 5 minutes to get the top table served at the bar.
Most of all enjoy - unless you get up the prom ladder quickly, it may be the only time you command a dinner.
P.S. Find a crusty old senior member to enforce the fines - bottle of port for excessive heckling - or even a joke and a bottle... If the on-lookers **** you off - keep them at the table and away from the bar - enjoy the power.
Most of all enjoy - unless you get up the prom ladder quickly, it may be the only time you command a dinner.
P.S. Find a crusty old senior member to enforce the fines - bottle of port for excessive heckling - or even a joke and a bottle... If the on-lookers **** you off - keep them at the table and away from the bar - enjoy the power.
Boarderlyne
Sergeant
- 550
- 2
- 0
Sorry to resurrect an old thread, but when do you do the fines? Is that before or after the jokes or after-dinner speech? Love the rowing boat grace. Will use that one as the Selkirk Grace has been done a few times.