Most haunted

[sausage2]

With it being halloween the other night, me and Mrs Sausage sat down to watch most haunted, um cos um the pub was shut and I'm on antibiotics.

Right anyway, there they were on the trail of Jack the ripper in London, when sausagess pipes up

"but he's not dead"

"eh" I reply

" that Peter Sutcliff is in broadmore isn't he"



You may be pleased to learn that she has just finnished a 5 year BSc and works in the local A&E department.

 

[Beerofund]

Really scary!

Really scary!

With it being halloween the other night, me and Mrs Sausage sat down to watch most haunted, um cos um the pub was shut and I'm on antibiotics.

Right anyway, there they were on the trail of Jack the ripper in London, when sausagess pipes up

"but he's not dead"

"eh" I reply

" that Peter Sutcliff is in broadmore isn't he"



You may be pleased to learn that she has just finnished a 5 year BSc and works in the local A&E department.

So which part of England should I AVOID having an accident in!!!!

 

[sausage2]

So which part of England should I AVOID having an accident in!!!!

I can't tell you that, It makes it more fun.

She has come out with loads of other quality one liners. Now i'm not saying she's thick or anything, but sheesh she once said that she didn't want to go on holiday in Ibiza cos she couldn't speak French!!!!!

And loads of others that i might get round to putting on here, but I can't be arssed at the moment

 

[Beerofund]

Idea for a thread?

Idea for a thread?

Sausage 2

Could be a great new thread. Title "The most stupidest split*** comments of all time!".

As you say mine also runs into several volumes!!!

 

[rest have risen above me]

Nastiest

Nastiest

I don't know about stupidest .......
How about nastiest?
My Wife's was "I Do"....

 

[twitch]

wives and cars

wives and cars

My wife returned from a shopping trip rather ashen faced, after a little probing I got it out of her. "I pulled up behind the car in front at the traffic lights and the car to my rear followed me and so on. The lights changed and the car in front remained stationary so being a little impatiant I honked my horn several times untill the lights turned yet again red. I was about to get out and give a verbal when I realised the car in front was actually parked with no-one in it!".

 

[sausage2]

So there I wa a few years back sat in the boozer with Mrs S.

Now she is a slight girl, and it doesn't take too much to get her pi$$ed. She was drinking bottles of becks at the time, the conversation goes something like this

Me " your quite drunk"

her " Well i've had 3 bottles"

Me "well I suppose they are quite strong , cos their 5%"

Her " thats right, so I've had 3 bottles, so I've had 15%"

Me " What "

I then went on to explain the consept of volume etc. But to no avail. So I tried a different approach.

Me " right then what happens if you drink 10 bottles"

Her " I'll have had 50%"

"correct "says I " so what happens if you have 20 bottles"

" then I'll have had 100%" she replies.


Ah I thought, now I've got her

" right" I said," what happens if you drink 21 bottles"

She ponderrs this for a moment and then replies.

" I couldn't drink that much"