Labour, the baby kind

[laboratoryqueen]

As some know, one of my bestest buddies is up the duff and is now going through all the forms and stuff associated with that. When getting to the bit about who would be present at the birth with her, her bloke announces that he wouldn't be, as blood and gore are not his thing, he doesn't mind sitting outside the room as long as he doesn't hear anything, so instead my mate has asked for me to be with her.

I've done the whole labour thing 4 times myself, but I've always been the one squeeing them out and happily off my head on the gas and air, so don't exactly remember much about any of it.

So a couple of things.

1, Do I accept and let her bloke off the hook
2, Why do we expect the blokes to be there for the births when it was just not done in past years.
3, What the feck is it like from the blokes point of view to stand there watching the bint scream and actually see that baby come out?


Her bloke is ex navy

 

[R_Squared]

I would say that he's making a big deal over not a lot. My advice would be to encourage him to be there.
As I remember there wasn't a great deal of blood and gore involved, but I wanted to be there for Mrs Jaws, if for no other reason than to just be there for her.
I imagine the whole process is as scary as hell for a first time mum, no matter how well prepared, the least the bloke could do is put up with a bit of minor unpleasantness.
I was glad I was there both times, although I would have;
a) Taken a better selection of Magazines with me (there's a lot of sitting about involved)
b)Given a bit more thought to the first words I said ('You've had a chimp' just does not go down as well as you might think)

Our first had more hair on her head than I was expecting FFS!

 

[Scaley brat]

1, Do I accept and let her bloke off the hook
2, Why do we expect the blokes to be there for the births when it was just not done in past years.
3, What the feck is it like from the blokes point of view to stand there watching the bint scream and actually see that baby come out?


Her bloke is ex navy

1. Yes, birth is a bird thing !!

2. Because you want us to suffer and throw up in front of you. Not going to happen DT_Xtremez_28:
3. Fookin great, you get to see your son as he is joining the world, and you get to hold him straight away and not just when some poor underpaid and overworked nurse remembers.

 

[laboratoryqueen]

I would say that he's making a big deal over not a lot. My advice would be to encourage him to be there.
As I remember there wasn't a great deal of blood and gore involved, but I wanted to be there for Mrs Jaws, if for no other reason than to just be there for her.
I imagine the whole process is as scary as hell for a first time mum, no matter how well prepared, the least the bloke could do is put up with a bit of minor unpleasantness.
I was glad I was there both times, although I would have;
a) Taken a better selection of Magazines with me (there's a lot of sitting about involved)
b)Given a bit more thought to the first words I said ('You've had a chimp' just does not go down as well as you might think)

Our first had more hair on her head than I was expecting FFS!

I have tried pointing that out to him, in my usual tactful manner, and he was adamant that he would most likely faint at the slightest sign of blood or even the thought of injections, blood, goo or gore.

My view is he got her up the duff, least he could do is be there for the end product, but if he wants to be a big gayer.

 

[monobrow]

I was there at the birth of my 2, and it's not all that gory!!! The worst bit was when the head came out and the waters behind it. Looked a bit like something from aliens, that didn't help the old "involuntary arm wrestling" one bit though. If he wants to, just stay looking at her rather than the "business end".

I did decline in cutting the cord though. If I wanted to go back there at some point, I'd rather not see what a baby's head would do to it!

 

[R_Squared]

I have tried pointing that out to him, in my usual tactful manner, and he was adamant that he would most likely faint at the slightest sign of blood or even the thought of injections, blood, goo or gore.

My view is he got her up the duff, least he could do is be there for the end product, but if he wants to be a big gayer.

I wasn't too happy about it at first, but then I remembered where my bollox were and got a fcuking grip.
Tell him to 'Man up' and get over himself, the fcuking Hom.
It's not him having his **** ripped open and stitched up.
DT_Xtremez_14:

 

[laboratoryqueen]

I wasn't too happy about it at first, but then I remembered where my bollox were and got a fcuking grip.
Tell him to 'Man up' and get over himself, the fcuking Hom.
It's not him having his **** ripped open and stitched up.
DT_Xtremez_14:

You heard my tactful way then DT_Xtremez_42:

Well FFS if he can't do labour what's he going to be like with baby puke and that black velcro sh1te baby's poop out

 

[metimmee]

Let him off the hook, but point out to him that he may regret it in the long run and that he can always change his mind, even at the last minute.

What does your best friend want? Does she really want him at the birth. If she does, then you could try the birthing plan bit, ie he is there to do a job to not let the staff deviate from the birthing plan eg. no Syntometrin post-drop, no cheeky injections without asking etc. This way he is effectively protecting his wife, guilt trip etc.

Also, remind him that all he needs to do is stay at the pretty end. Once you have won him over, and he is comfortable doing it tell him that he should cut the cord and re-assure him by telling him like its like cutting a raw carrot. DT_Xtremez_34:

I was at the birth of both mine. The second was a little more complicated than the first and was a home birth which was interesting but had a happy ending weighing 9lb 2oz.

 

[NotAnIDOYet]

Was there for the birth of my daughter and don't regret it for a minute. It was a water birth and I was encouraged to get in the pool, which was rather hot and left me sweating like a paedophile at a McFly concert for about 3 hours afterwards. The downside with being in the pool was the surprising amount of floating bits of gunk that became attached to me afterwards. However, sitting in the wet cuddling Mrs NAIDOYet and the young 'un gave me a sense of enormous manliness.

As has been said before, tell your friend to "man up" and get in there, although some hospital trusts don't let you cut the cord nowadays (mine did but the next one north dont).

He will regret it if he doesn't go and then you can legally name him on here wor all of us to call him a gayer!

 

[MrMasher]

1. Yes, birth is a bird thing !!

2. Because you want us to suffer and throw up in front of you. Not going to happen DT_Xtremez_28:
3. Fookin great, you get to see your son as he is joining the world, and you get to hold him straight away and not just when some poor underpaid and overworked nurse remembers.

I agree with SB.
I would have been present if possible but after 56 hours of labour and still nothing to show for it, MrsMasher had to go for an emergency sunroof and the garage mechanic wouldnt let me go in and watch.
I had to sit in the "Dads room" and wait until some random nurse came out with a small bundle of mash which was apparently ours.
Mrs was out for the count and I got to do the first feed. Not the way we had planned, but hey ho!

You have to go and support your friend, you wouldnt want to go through that with just the hospital staff would you?

 

[Comms_Lad]

I agree with SB.
I would have been present if possible but after 56 hours of labour and still nothing to show for it, MrsMasher had to go for an emergency sunroof and the garage mechanic wouldnt let me go in and watch.
I had to sit in the "Dads room" and wait until some random nurse came out with a small bundle of mash which was apparently ours.
Mrs was out for the count and I got to do the first feed. Not the way we had planned, but hey ho!

You have to go and support your friend, you wouldnt want to go through that with just the hospital staff would you?

Yeah it was the same with me, in hindsight I wish they had let me in for the emergency sunroof bit as I would of offered them the chance of a sit down whilst I created said sunroof....

..... well the nipper still would of made it!


Find out where his mates hang out and tell them that he is a big feckin gayer because he hasnt got the balls to man up and look after his missus. After a few wakes of having the pi55 ripped out of him he should relent.

 

[SirSaltyHelmet]

Having been through it in the last 3 days... Thank god for the screen on the C section! Nice to have a sick bucket at hand

 

[Scaley brat]

Having been through it in the last 3 days... Thank god for the screen on the C section! Nice to have a sick bucket at hand

So what did you have dude ? a 6lb burger DT_Xtremez_29:

In all seriousness, I was there and wouldn't have missed it for the world. Good job really, the midwife was a cousin of mine and she was rushed off her feet. Mrs brat would have been alone most of the day if I hadn't been there.
I remember feeling amazed and priveliged to watch this little blue grey head squeeze out of her. My initial panic seeing his colour and wondering if he was alive, then shattering relief as he moved. Holding the scissors and the nurse saying "It's okay love you won't cut his little winky off" "Oh sorry, didn't we tell you it's a boy !"
The pride of holding my son for the first time ::
The shame of finally understanding what a cnut I'd been to my own Dad ::

If her fella wants to miss out on all that, then shame on him.
The only problem I had was vomit. I could handle the blood and the sh1t, but the smell of vomit......... DT_Xtremez_34:

 

[MingMong]

When my eldest was born, I had no intention whatsoever of being in the room at the birth, I was more than content to just wait outside and let the proffesionals get on with it without me getting in the way. However, the missus was in labour for 48 hours, so by the time it came to the final push (so to speak) I was that bored of hanging around in the hospital waiting room (not for the full 48 hours of course) that I went in to see what was going on.
There was no hand holding or encouragement from me, I just stood quietly out of the way, holding on tight to the sink in the delivery suite for fear that I might fall over.
I must say that I didn't particularly enjoy the experience, but in retrospect I am pleased that I was there for it.

I was also present for the birth of my second, which was a little harrowing, because we almost lost him due to the umbilical cord being wrapped round his neck. Fortunately he made it through fine.

 

[wolfy]

Having been through it in the last 3 days... Thank god for the screen on the C section! Nice to have a sick bucket at hand

Ha Ha Know what you mean, hardest thing I found was having to watch a doctor insert a hand up your wifes fanny!

 

[Kernow]

Ha Ha Know what you mean, hardest thing I found was having to watch a doctor insert a hand up your wifes fanny!

Why were you watching the doctor do that to SSH's wife?


Best thing I ever did was making sure I was there for the birth of my 2, enjoyed every minute of it, can't say Mrs K did rambled on about how painful it was and something lost interest after a while.

I would put all the effort in encouraging her other arf to go, he will regret it if he doesn't.

 

[Scaley brat]

Ha Ha Know what you mean, hardest thing I found was having to watch a doctor insert a hand up your wifes fanny!

WHy ? watching the midwife do it was ace !! DT_Xtremez_30:

 

[Mrs_Monobrow]

As many have already said LQ, he will regret it if he doesnt go in with her. As mono said, he stayed up by my head as he didnt want to see what was happening down there, but i do vaguely remember mono putting his head on my shoulder as soon as our daughter let out her first cry. A very emotional time and within minutes mono was holding her, even before i had. The midwives are very quick to clean up any mess so the whole blood and gore thing is a very weak excuse in my eyes.

I wouldnt have wanted anyone else there but my husband and im very glad he was (although the barsteward fecked off to the family room for a sleep while i was in labour with our son!!!) DT_Xtremez_32:

 

[mumof4]

My ex didnt want to be there at the birth of my eldest, so i had my mate there with me, She was brilliant, had me in stitches telling me jokes, nearly broke my hand when the head crowned , i couldnt have asked for a better birthing partner.She considered it an honour to be asked and to be there, and yep we slated the ex for not being there.She said it was the most amazeing thing she had ever seen and was bawling her eyes out.

If her other half doesnt want to do it , then it is a great loss for him and a great honour for you LQ.

 

[laboratoryqueen]

I'm hoping that as the pregancy progresses he does want to be there as I do think he will regret it if he's not. It's not because he doesn't want to support her during labour, he's worried he'll faint or freak out but I'm sure the midwives have seen those reactions before and prepared for them.