- 4,931
- 107
- 63
Next, the course.
I am not going to lay it out in detail, but there are 5 bits to this course. An intro weekend, a week of guns and how and when to shoot them, a weekend of first aid and combat first aid, three days of gas masks and nasties and 2 days of field-craft and fun and games ending in a close quarter combat phase, which is quite simply the dogs bollux – like laser quest but with lots of shouting, smoke and automatic fire (terms above used for comedic effect only).
After the day 1 GSK test (50 questions) there are going to be quite a number of relatively simple tests and more easy to fail practical tests in the two weeks, and chances are most older people will get a “green” for a failure somewhere down the line (and it’s usually on the CBRN phase where blind dexterity is a key enabler), but the tick tests won’t be too much of an intellectual struggle. Key triggers are identified in both sorts of test, mostly as safety, which will get you a green (I forgot to shout for help on my unconscious casualty). This means a period of retraining and retest even for a slight hiccup, so rehearse well. Interspersed with this are PPT lectures, even within the night exercise phase, though by this time it’s a little like teaching a drugged monkey advanced algebra.
The weapons bit takes up a week, and safety is always paramount. The training here is excellent and it needs to be for the older inductee if they have not handled a weapon before. They will not let you out of there until you are 100% safe in the company of yourself and your colleagues. You might get a little nervous there until it becomes second nature, and it will after a while. They have also added something to this; they teach you how to shoot straight on the laser ranges, teach you all manner of techniques, positions and fire types. It gets pretty hot in there, and this is where your knees might bite a little (you need to move fast between positions). I had to use a knee support for a few days after this.
A quick word about the “confidence testing facility” here as it gets a lot of press. The CTF is used both to get you a good sniff of the hard stuff as well as test your drills – and they are tested in strict order, which you must remember. If you don’t do this, 2 things will happen. First, you will do it again and get a green, and/or you will get another gobfull of CS to encourage your compliance next time. In either manner, you are going to get a hit. Be prepared to enjoy the biggest Schadenfreude driven laughing fit you have ever had at the sheer discomfort of your colleagues as they dribble globs of saliva on the floor, because sure as ****, they are going to do the same thing to you. As an older giffer, and this is just my experience, you might know what is coming and we lucky few don’t seem to get the same effects as the younger lunged ones who really are great to watch – so stay to the end, be the last out, and get your monies worth.
However, what you, my chronologically challenged friend, might face is the prospect of leopard or monkey crawling across a football field with a rifle to the symphonic accompaniment of all your joints grinding and heart beating like a drum, whilst the nimbler ones race ahead of you. Just keep going – the staff are pretty good like this and as in every phase, they need only to know you are paying attention and giving it your all. Otherwise, there is little or no flex given the older candidate in displaying that they know which way is up, because when your are deployed, effective enemy fire is equally indiscriminate in its selection of landing site - so an understandable position.
Next, IFPT
Force Protection training is all undertaken in the one huge facility (in my recollection, it once housed Engine Training), in which you are accommodated every day, eat at lunchtime and otherwise get lectured at in one of the practical and theoretical classrooms. The one thing you do get is the sanctuary of your own crew-room, which is fantastic as the kids must take their break in the hangar. For God’s sake don’t mess it up and lose it – this is solid gold real estate when you need it most.
When you get marched down by the senior man in the morning (not ex-servicemen as a rule, but older giffers will also qualify for this role), you line up on the “Flight Lines” in 3 open order ranks – yours is at one end out of sight of most of the recruits. Here you can dump all your un-needed kit and get your water bottle (full to the neck) and id card inspected, as well as other things which will remain secret for now.
In this place, in close proximity of the kids, you may feel a little out of place, but that will pass. My advice is to engage them in conversation whenever you can, and you might be surprised at their enthusiasm and maturity (relevant perhaps to your own relative naivety at Swinderby). Certainly, given that they get it twice as hard as us, it inspired awe that there are still young people of quality out there, and many of them a damned sight smarter than we ever were – though there pervades a lot more of the “loco-parentis” way of doing things, I am told due to their lack of physical and mental robustness.
In this place you must either march or run as you move about. As a matter of pride and perhaps because of dignity, we the elderly chose to run and in the end this comes as naturally as breathing in and out – it also serves to set an example.
Finally, getting outa there.
“This is not an attendance course”. It is on the joining instructions, they tell you it, and it gets reinforced throughout and right up to Saturday morning when they come to inspect the block – and it’s true. Doesn’t matter if you are a 17 year old lad in college or a 50+ blue chip company director. You will have to work hard, and work together in order to get through this. There is attrition and people do not meet the required standards from time to time, and when they finally do release you on Saturday lunchtime, you will either have a green card in your mitt, or you will not. There are no concessions given, and frankly the course is better for it. In those 15 days, you will in all likelihood not had seen a computer screen, television or newspaper, but I absolutely 100% guarantee you that you will never have laughed so hard and so long at yourself and your colleagues, in your long and sometimes too cynical life. So from the perspective of the older candidate, bloody fantastic; not always fair, not a perfect system and I wouldn’t like to do it again, but it does what is says on the tin and when you leave Halton, you really know you have done something.
Its a blast.
I am not going to lay it out in detail, but there are 5 bits to this course. An intro weekend, a week of guns and how and when to shoot them, a weekend of first aid and combat first aid, three days of gas masks and nasties and 2 days of field-craft and fun and games ending in a close quarter combat phase, which is quite simply the dogs bollux – like laser quest but with lots of shouting, smoke and automatic fire (terms above used for comedic effect only).
After the day 1 GSK test (50 questions) there are going to be quite a number of relatively simple tests and more easy to fail practical tests in the two weeks, and chances are most older people will get a “green” for a failure somewhere down the line (and it’s usually on the CBRN phase where blind dexterity is a key enabler), but the tick tests won’t be too much of an intellectual struggle. Key triggers are identified in both sorts of test, mostly as safety, which will get you a green (I forgot to shout for help on my unconscious casualty). This means a period of retraining and retest even for a slight hiccup, so rehearse well. Interspersed with this are PPT lectures, even within the night exercise phase, though by this time it’s a little like teaching a drugged monkey advanced algebra.
The weapons bit takes up a week, and safety is always paramount. The training here is excellent and it needs to be for the older inductee if they have not handled a weapon before. They will not let you out of there until you are 100% safe in the company of yourself and your colleagues. You might get a little nervous there until it becomes second nature, and it will after a while. They have also added something to this; they teach you how to shoot straight on the laser ranges, teach you all manner of techniques, positions and fire types. It gets pretty hot in there, and this is where your knees might bite a little (you need to move fast between positions). I had to use a knee support for a few days after this.
A quick word about the “confidence testing facility” here as it gets a lot of press. The CTF is used both to get you a good sniff of the hard stuff as well as test your drills – and they are tested in strict order, which you must remember. If you don’t do this, 2 things will happen. First, you will do it again and get a green, and/or you will get another gobfull of CS to encourage your compliance next time. In either manner, you are going to get a hit. Be prepared to enjoy the biggest Schadenfreude driven laughing fit you have ever had at the sheer discomfort of your colleagues as they dribble globs of saliva on the floor, because sure as ****, they are going to do the same thing to you. As an older giffer, and this is just my experience, you might know what is coming and we lucky few don’t seem to get the same effects as the younger lunged ones who really are great to watch – so stay to the end, be the last out, and get your monies worth.
However, what you, my chronologically challenged friend, might face is the prospect of leopard or monkey crawling across a football field with a rifle to the symphonic accompaniment of all your joints grinding and heart beating like a drum, whilst the nimbler ones race ahead of you. Just keep going – the staff are pretty good like this and as in every phase, they need only to know you are paying attention and giving it your all. Otherwise, there is little or no flex given the older candidate in displaying that they know which way is up, because when your are deployed, effective enemy fire is equally indiscriminate in its selection of landing site - so an understandable position.
Next, IFPT
Force Protection training is all undertaken in the one huge facility (in my recollection, it once housed Engine Training), in which you are accommodated every day, eat at lunchtime and otherwise get lectured at in one of the practical and theoretical classrooms. The one thing you do get is the sanctuary of your own crew-room, which is fantastic as the kids must take their break in the hangar. For God’s sake don’t mess it up and lose it – this is solid gold real estate when you need it most.
When you get marched down by the senior man in the morning (not ex-servicemen as a rule, but older giffers will also qualify for this role), you line up on the “Flight Lines” in 3 open order ranks – yours is at one end out of sight of most of the recruits. Here you can dump all your un-needed kit and get your water bottle (full to the neck) and id card inspected, as well as other things which will remain secret for now.
In this place, in close proximity of the kids, you may feel a little out of place, but that will pass. My advice is to engage them in conversation whenever you can, and you might be surprised at their enthusiasm and maturity (relevant perhaps to your own relative naivety at Swinderby). Certainly, given that they get it twice as hard as us, it inspired awe that there are still young people of quality out there, and many of them a damned sight smarter than we ever were – though there pervades a lot more of the “loco-parentis” way of doing things, I am told due to their lack of physical and mental robustness.
In this place you must either march or run as you move about. As a matter of pride and perhaps because of dignity, we the elderly chose to run and in the end this comes as naturally as breathing in and out – it also serves to set an example.
Finally, getting outa there.
“This is not an attendance course”. It is on the joining instructions, they tell you it, and it gets reinforced throughout and right up to Saturday morning when they come to inspect the block – and it’s true. Doesn’t matter if you are a 17 year old lad in college or a 50+ blue chip company director. You will have to work hard, and work together in order to get through this. There is attrition and people do not meet the required standards from time to time, and when they finally do release you on Saturday lunchtime, you will either have a green card in your mitt, or you will not. There are no concessions given, and frankly the course is better for it. In those 15 days, you will in all likelihood not had seen a computer screen, television or newspaper, but I absolutely 100% guarantee you that you will never have laughed so hard and so long at yourself and your colleagues, in your long and sometimes too cynical life. So from the perspective of the older candidate, bloody fantastic; not always fair, not a perfect system and I wouldn’t like to do it again, but it does what is says on the tin and when you leave Halton, you really know you have done something.
Its a blast.