Are you In or Out?

[SirSaltyHelmet]

It is one of the considerations at the moment - but as I didn't live in the mess in the first place and I am rarely about I don't know an awful lot of people there yet and where I work they are mainly married or bean stealers...

Top and tail with me at a small base off the M40 DT_Xtremez_16:

 

[DoesMyBumLookBigInThis?]

Top and tail with me at a small base off the M40 DT_Xtremez_16:

You are sooo kind....

By the way - do I know you??????DT_Xtremez_27:

 

[Bluntend]

Speaking of 'bad' messes, have there been any improvements to Deadloss Mess at Cranditz? Last time I stayed there you had to be up at 0500 just to get hot water for a shower. Aside from woefully inadequate hot water supply, the fact that they built the public rooms too close to chom forcing them to put both the east and west wings on the same side and that one of the 'quadrants' (or whatever they were called) was slowly subsiding off towards Lincoln, it wasn't too bad a place to stay short term. I wouldn't want to spend a long time there though.

 

[SirSaltyHelmet]

Nope.... just a generous and chatty kind of guy DT_Xtremez_15:

 

[TheHogwartsBEngO]

Speaking of 'bad' messes, have there been any improvements to Deadloss Mess at Cranditz? Last time I stayed there you had to be up at 0500 just to get hot water for a shower. Aside from woefully inadequate hot water supply, the fact that they built the public rooms too close to chom forcing them to put both the east and west wings on the same side and that one of the 'quadrants' (or whatever they were called) was slowly subsiding off towards Lincoln, it wasn't too bad a place to stay short term. I wouldn't want to spend a long time there though.

The worst part of deadloss mess was the airport lounge that was called a bar - terrible, souless place. I understand many attempts have been made to improve it that mostly involved yukka and other potted plants

A great deal of progress could have been made, however, if they had simply taught the bar staff how to pull a decent pint of Everards Tiger and not kill it flat. DT_Xtremez_34:

 

[Me!]

Out, and willing to drive 2 hours every day for the luxury! Not that Chicksands is a bad mess, it's probably right up there as one of the nicest places to be (if you're a member of staff at the DCI, not a filthy stude), but I'm only there for 4 months so the commute is worth the satisfaction that I leave school every day.DT_Xtremez_07:

 

[M_for_Mother]

Daddy Long Legs? At a small FJ base in Lincolnshire, our problem is the damned Spiders. You only need to take a dump during the summer and they've sealed you into the cubicle with a fine mesh of cobwebs. And big? I saw one eat a dog once, I promise!

Our Mess corridor looks not unlike the set of an Indiana Jones movie some mornings. I wish Batty would stop wearing her Nazi costume.

 

[TheHogwartsBEngO]

I recall from my days living-in at Brize that the Batties were even more noisy than a VC10 on FTOT on a freezing cold day.

I worked shifts - despite the "sleeping off nights" sign I never got a full days sleep due to the row.

The particular problem is that Brize Mess, unlike most others, doesn't have skeleton keys that the Batties use to enter rooms, the Batties have a huge gaolor's set of keys attached to their utility belts.::/:

Kept waking up thinking Santa Claus had come early on his sleigh!!

 

[Bluntend]

At a small FJ base in Lincolnshire, our problem is the damned Spiders.

In Norfolk its midges and mossies that are the worst. Go to bed at night with a window open and you'll wake up in the morning a stone lighter through blood loss alone...

 

[M_for_Mother]

And Thunderflies, right? I think every Mess in the RAF must suffer from those little critters. I'll never understand where they come from or how they can get behind picture frames like they do just before they expire, leaving you with a standing reminder that they existed. Their life expectancy has got to be measured in hours, surely? I think that they are, in fact, the most pointless creature known to man (new thread topic perhaps?). They always ruin your pint as well - sat out in the Beer Garden, suddenly you feel something move on your face, look down and a fcuking colony of the suckers has descended into your Spitfire, most curious.

 

[TheHogwartsBEngO]

Our MQ in Cartoontown suffered from a plague of wasps.

Due to the Bats you see...

 

[M_for_Mother]

Fruit or Vampire?

 

[Bluntend]

And Thunderflies, right? I think every Mess in the RAF must suffer from those little critters. I'll never understand where they come from or how they can get behind picture frames like they do just before they expire, leaving you with a standing reminder that they existed. Their life expectancy has got to be measured in hours, surely? I think that they are, in fact, the most pointless creature known to man (new thread topic perhaps?).

I think they thrive in the very fabric of the Mess as a kind of cavity wall insulation. When you hammer a nail into a wall to hang a picture it lets the critters out - hence why we're not allowed to put nails into walls. They probably also escape through the numerous cracks you'll find in any Mess older than around 18 months...

DT_Xtremez_31:

 

[TheHogwartsBEngO]

sat out in the Beer Garden, suddenly you feel something move on your face, look down and a fcuking colony of the suckers has descended into your Spitfire, most curious.

Fascinating - so they had beer gardens next to the kites on the dispersal in 1940 then? Must be frustrating to jump into the cockpit when scrambled only to find it full of flys.... DT_Xtremez_15:

Cheap shot. Sorry.

I used to be a Norfolk base too, the biggest problem with the flys was that they coated the front end of your car every summer. Their entrails were made of araldyte or something, cos you could never shift it!

 

[M_for_Mother]

On the topic of animals in the Mess, last year one of the lads in SLAM accommodation lost a snake down the toilet. Pretty careless I know, but he thought it was brown-bread so let matters lie, until someone else found a 2.5 ft long snake skin in their room and alerted the SWO.

Then it kicked off big style, EHT got called, people started covering the sh!tters with clingfilm (no change there then!). Eventually they recovered the absent Python when he was found dozing in somebody's kitbag.

Can you imagine the look on Harry Staish's face if that thing had surfaced during his morning routine? The thought alone keeps me smiling during my darkest hours.

 

[TheHogwartsBEngO]

That would really freak me out! Spiders I don't mind but snakes?DT_Xtremez_03:

 

[thickmick]

At least a house has proper walls, I have lost count of the number of times I drift off to sleep whilst the occupant of the room next door indulges in a very loud, very protracted sh@gging session just feet from my head!!!

MFM,

Do you know something I don't?

 

[TheHogwartsBEngO]

Quarters

Quarters

Just re-reading this thread and now I actually own a former quarter, I've started to try and hammer and screw things into the walls.

Trust me, the walls of a MQ made in the 50s are very solid. Got thro' 3 expensive and supposedly toughened drill bits whilst putting up curtain rails. Picture hooks don't stand a chance.

*prepares for tirade of abuse - probably from Plumber - about poor DIY skills*

 

[Bluntend]

Ok, I'll start...

Ok, I'll start...

You did use masonry drill bits didn't you?

 

[TheHogwartsBEngO]

You did use masonry drill bits didn't you?

..good grief... yes! my Dad is quite good at the DIY thing you know DT_Xtremez_15: