Anyone know any gen on Expats??

[RAF Bird]

In short I'm having trouble with my ex-husband (never ends does it? ) he decided a few months ago that he doesn't have to pay me any maintenance at all (he paid me little enough as it is and no where near the 15% the law indicates. I decided enough was enough I'll just let the CSA deal with it. Worst thing I could have done. They apparently have no jurisdiction over expats however rather than just informing me of this they opened a case, contacted him and let him know I was going through CSA and after all that then decided they had no way of making him pay then told him this as well. Course now I'll not get a penny from him without some sort of legal help.

Now he works for an international company, gets paid into a UK bank account (barclays) in GBP however spends less than 90 days a year in the UK cos otherwise he'd have to pay British taxes. He works 8 weeks on 4 weeks off earning £173 a day tax free!!! You do the math I think you'd have to earn about 80k a year here to take home what he does. He has a British address for when he's here but the only outgoing he has here (as his family are well off.. so he lives for free when he's home in one of his Mums 5 bedroom houses) is for his mobile phone.

I don't suppose any of you lovely goaters know what I can do? What sort of legal support do I have?? or do you know where I can find out if there is anything the courts can do. I don't want to spend hundreds of pounds on solicitors and court dates and get no where.

Thanks in advance for any advice you have.

 

[muttywhitedog]

What sort of a relationship does your son have with his paternal grandparents?

 

[olliepop]

Hi chick,

I don't know any info but, have found these sites that may be able to help or, at least have a phone number you can call... Good Luck

http://childsupportadvice.co.uk/ - This one is a legal agency dealing in CSA


http://www.csa.gov.uk/en/contact/ - Usual Pish


http://www.childsupportlaws.co.uk/


http://www.dwp.gov.uk/publications/specialist-guides/law-volumes/the-law-relating-to-child-support/

 

[ajay]

I know this sounds daft, but try asking on ARSE, i have had some brilliant legal advice, some guys on there really do know their stuff.DT_Xtremez_35:

 

[Spearmint]

It's a long shot but I think you still get 1hr free with the Citizens Advice Bureau.

 

[mememe]

As he is paid in the UK and into a Uk account the legal system has juristiction over his finances at least. When he is in the UK he comes under our laws. I am pretty sure an attachment of earnings placed upon him through a magistrate court will do the trick.

 

[dkh51250]

I worked in Saudi for five years. The place was full of CSA refugees who in the main never paid a pennypiece to their former wives/partners.

 

[RAF Bird]

What sort of a relationship does your son have with his paternal grandparents?

it's a bit here and there. She cares for him alot but sometimes it can be months between hearing from her. I've never ever stopped any of them from seeing him and if she has ever rang and asked to have him for an amout of time I have always let him but I dont make a point of ringing her all the time.

 

[RAF Bird]

I worked in Saudi for five years. The place was full of CSA refugees who in the main never paid a pennypiece to their former wives/partners.

Yes this is what I hear. Yet he rings me tonight expecting me to let him take our lad away for the weekend even though accoring to our legal agreement it's not his weekend. Course if I dont let him see him then I am the bad one.... but last weekend when he was supposed to have him he fcuked off abroad on the lash! How is that right? A/hole.... hope he gets shot on his next 8 weeks in Iraq!

 

[RAF Bird]

Hi chick,

I don't know any info but, have found these sites that may be able to help or, at least have a phone number you can call... Good Luck

http://childsupportadvice.co.uk/ - This one is a legal agency dealing in CSA


http://www.csa.gov.uk/en/contact/ - Usual Pish


http://www.childsupportlaws.co.uk/


http://www.dwp.gov.uk/publications/specialist-guides/law-volumes/the-law-relating-to-child-support/

Thanks chick... have looked at them as well previously. They are all very good but with him being an expat it's slightly different. Thank you for your help though.

 

[Tashy_Man]

Yes this is what I hear. Yet he rings me tonight expecting me to let him take our lad away for the weekend even though accoring to our legal agreement it's not his weekend. Course if I dont let him see him then I am the bad one.... but last weekend when he was supposed to have him he fcuked off abroad on the lash! How is that right? A/hole.... hope he gets shot on his next 8 weeks in Iraq!

So what is the legal agreement as regard to maintenance ? Surely if he is breaking the rules then you can tell him to poke off until he starts doing his bit ?

 

[RAF Bird]

So what is the legal agreement as regard to maintenance ? Surely if he is breaking the rules then you can tell him to poke off until he starts doing his bit ?

Sadly mate when we divorced I never thought for one minute that he wouldn't want to support our son. So (against my solicitors wishes) when we divorced I didn't get it written in that he would pay me 15% of his pay (that's what you can claim through CSA although as we were married with property etc I could actually claim up to 25%) I always believed that he would want the best for our son and when he's taking home over 5k a month the money wouldn't be a problem. Isn't hindsight a wonderful thing. If only I knew then what I knew now.

Have had a look at some of the laws about paying maintenance though and it says something along the lines of 'if the residential parent takes the child away and contact is broken maintenance can be withdrawn' so surely that can work the other way. If he chooses to not support his son then surely visiting rights can be withdrawn. Problem is I've got too much of a conscience to stop him seeing his son.

 

[Tashy_Man]

Isn't hindsight a wonderful thing. If only I knew then what I knew now.

Oh it is !! You would hope that someone who has got an income increase as much as he has would like to contribute to his offspring......there has to be some legal ruling on it though.

I have to say as a dad and in a similar circumstance (tax free) my kids really pish me off expecting everything because dad can.....spoilt brats is probably the right expression for my kids.....Unfortunatly

Hope you do sort something out......DT_Xtremez_14:

 

[gemarriott]

it's a bit here and there. She cares for him alot but sometimes it can be months between hearing from her. I've never ever stopped any of them from seeing him and if she has ever rang and asked to have him for an amout of time I have always let him but I dont make a point of ringing her all the time.

That sounds to me as if she is a duty Grandparent only. I couldn't bear not seeing my grandkids regularly.

Families always amaze me, I visited my grandparents every week till I joined up and every time I was home on leave till they died not out of duty but because I wanted to. As for a father not supporting his own child I find that totally unforgivable. In the absence of anything constructive to say I hope you get near his balls with a rusty blade soon!

 

[MTMAD]

Sadly mate when we divorced I never thought for one minute that he wouldn't want to support our son. So (against my solicitors wishes) when we divorced I didn't get it written in that he would pay me 15% of his pay (that's what you can claim through CSA although as we were married with property etc I could actually claim up to 25%) I always believed that he would want the best for our son and when he's taking home over 5k a month the money wouldn't be a problem. Isn't hindsight a wonderful thing. If only I knew then what I knew now.

Have had a look at some of the laws about paying maintenance though and it says something along the lines of 'if the residential parent takes the child away and contact is broken maintenance can be withdrawn' so surely that can work the other way. If he chooses to not support his son then surely visiting rights can be withdrawn. Problem is I've got too much of a conscience to stop him seeing his son.

I think you need to hit him where it hurts and start enforcing the custody rights, until he actually realises that being a father is not a thing you choose to do as and when he can be arsed! Get down to the Citizens Advice and take him to the cleaners. I am a father and if anything happened between me and wife I would be supporting my kids to the best of my ability. Good luck RAF BIRD.

 

[amfortas]

The main problem lies with the entire Child Support Industry and the Divorce laws. What is provided by a partner who has 'gone' (95% father) is supposed to be given to the one who has the children (95% the mother).

The Guvmunters (and Courts) decide what the amount is to be. 15% is simply arbitrary.

It should, of course, go to the children and in proportion. The Guvmunt should not be involved at all.

I have always held the view that the government has made a rod for everyone's back, including their own. They have progressivly destroyed the Family.

The situation could be fixed overnight if it were Law, as follows:

BOTH parents are wholly, totally, jointly and severally, Responsible and Accountable for the wellbeing of the children they produce together. Financial, health, education, housing etc along with the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing of the children are the PARENTS' responsibility and they should BOTH be held to account - to the child or on behalf of the child.

Divorce Courts should NOT 'award' children to one or the other Parent.

No-one should be allowed to interfere with the parents who are discharging their responsibilities. Not even one parent interfering with the other. If either parent fails or is unable to discharge their responsibilities they can be offered assistance - to be repayed - or jailed.

Divorcing parents should establish a trust account for their children and contribute equally.

 

[The Masked Geek]

As he is paid in the UK and into a Uk account the legal system has juristiction over his finances at least. When he is in the UK he comes under our laws. I am pretty sure an attachment of earnings placed upon him through a magistrate court will do the trick.

The problem is that the internatnal company does not have to disclose his earnings so he effectively earns nothing; therefore, hard as it sounds, he owes nothing.

I know this as I plan to withdraw some maintenance from my scrub of an ex and pay it direct to my daughter so that I know she is getting it.

Some countries have agreements with UK Gov with respect to maintenance but not in the middle east.

 

[Jaydubwa]

I do feel for you. I was out in Saudi 1995 and amongst so-called fathers who refused to pay. I paid maintenance through a court order and only pleased to. Not enough for her to commit adultery she then changed her phone number so I couldn't contact my kids whilst over there. I was gutted, so much that I left the place 5 months later returned to UK and was unemployed for 6 months. I was then unable to contribute until I got another job so it backfired on her. I think the only way to get through to these people is to do exactly the same as my ex did. Deny access - it does sound cruel but he cant have it both ways. What goes around............

 

[Therapist]

With denying access I know a few people who have completely denied access to the kids on the grounds that they were acting like total c***s.
It went along the lines of "You're acting like a knob, I don't want my child to grow up with that as it's role model when you start acting like a decent human being you can see the kids"
Difficult call to make but possibly not unreasonable.

 

[olliepop]

I was chatting to a mate today who is having problems with her ex paying. She went to see SSAFA and they are now helping her sort things out.... You have probably already approached them but, if not worth a try maybe???