Anyone in the Forces with a young child?!

[poppy_flower]

Hello!

I would like to know if there are any single parents or both parents in the air force with young children to look after? My OH is in, and have really wanted to join for a long while now. Im getting older and so need to make a decision this year. Between us we look after my daughter who is six. What is it like being both in and also juggling the hectic life of having children? I am aware what the job involves but will it take its toll on my daughter? I dont want to push her to one side so I can have the job I really want? How much do you have to rely on third parties looking after them, ie. grandparents, childcare etc. Just generally would like someone with experience who can tell me YES or NO! haha! What makes it worse is that she is the only child, so wouldn't be surrounded by brothers and sisters. The aspect of living on or near a base isnt a problem as we would be doing that anyway with my partner (once we are married).

Any help I would be very grateful!

 

[Dan_Brown]

I am afraid there is no one answer to this, it is purely down you and your families decision. Only recently 2 of my colleagues who both have partners serving and have young families, one mum and one dad from each family has left the RAF due to spiralling childcare costs and time away (and not to be together!)

However, others with a decent support network and the service supporting them (co-location etc) they are making it work.

But you have to realise that during basic training you will need to be focussed on this and then any trade training etc - you will need your partners/families support and be able to trust/rely on them while you focus on your training.

Best of luck, it won't be easy, especially in the early stages and remember the Service need always comes first (you could end up anywhere!). But good luck whatever you decide - keeps us updated!

 

[poppy_flower]

It most definitely will not be an easy decision. It's just if its as bad as people make out. My partner has been in three years and not been away that much. The biggest stint was Kenya. Basic training wouldn't be a problem as you only do that once and that's it. His days and hours seem better than mine at the moment anyway. But I guess it's different for everyone. So so hard! Perhaps I'll just give up on the idea... Or maybe speak to someone in the trade I want to do and see what day to day life is like. That's the bit I worry about most. Thanks for your help!

 

[FOMz]

What trade are you considering?

 

[Norman the Storeman]

Mrs Norman (15 yrs to push) is serving & baby Norman is 10 months.

I've decided to see out my LOS 30 & be the stay at home dad to give the boy some stability.

We factored in the flip-flop system for our OOAs & thought...Nah!

Good luck to you, though. The hardest bit we find is being located away from both our families. No instant babysitters for mess-dos...

 

[busby1971]

After basic and trade training in the main it will become like any other job for most of the time. Limitations will include the longer working day, although if you both live on the same camp this problem is mitigated. There will potentially be periods when short notice travel and working may be required and the big one will be the Out of Areas, where you will take it in turn to do your stint for Queen and country, at the sacrifice of a stable family life.

With two incomes before and after school clubs should be affordable, and when you're both at home you might be able to accommodate an early or late start each to reduce this burden. School holidays will be expensive, full time care, unless you pack off the little one to family and take your leave at different times. These are issues that also impact on civis, however as you might be removed from your local area and family support it may have a bigger impact.

Whether or not you're the type of family that can cope with service life disruption will only be discovered once you start living it and the initial shine starts to wear off, then again if it's not working out one of you can always leave, you'll learn some skills, have a laugh, do things that the rest of society will never have a chance to try and you never know you might even enjoy it and have long career with a great life ahead of you.

Me and the wife did it, we enjoyed it and we're now set up for life with the skills we've gained (invest in professional quals) and regular pension income for life.

Sent from my SM-T715 using Tapatalk

 

[poppy_flower]

Ah great! This is good information! Yes I agree, we aren't really going to know until we do it and see. I would like to go in as Medical Support Officer. I would also consider other roles but I have relative experience for medical support officer.
Thanks for all your help

 

[muttywhitedog]

I've worked with many military females who were parents, both single and married. Some were very good and you'd be hard-pushed to even know they had children, such was their excellent attendance and work ethic. Others found it a real struggle and if you listened to them, they'd have you believe they were the first person ever to have a child and then go to work!

That said, I note that you are expressing an interest in the commissioned roles. Not sure if your OH is commissioned, but if not, be warned that if you take that route, then your career management will be handled in a very different way. You will be expected to move at a moment's notice, you will be expected to deploy at a moments notice and you will be expected to put your career above your family needs. A posting 200 miles away from your OH wouldn't be unheard of. The non-commissioned roles can be more like a regular job - you cannot say that about the commissioned ones.