Det Rules - Good or Bad

[shiny_arse]

Got into a good old discussion on the above subject in the bar the other night and as the sherberts flowed it got a little bit heated.

It's been around for years, everyone is aware of it, some love it, some hate it, someones normally getting it!DT_Xtremez_42: .

So over to the group, whats your views. Guys I already anticipate most of your responses, but reiteration is always good. Would be interested to hear from our female contingent. After all it does take two to tango and normally we're all in the same boat.

Which leads to my second question. If a bloke sleeps around he is a stud. A female does is she's a slag. Whats that all about? - you tell me

 

[rest have risen above me]

Beadwindow...

This is a huge can of worms here....
I personally don't trust Det Rules as far as you can throw them. There's always the one bloke/lass who's so in love and trusting of his wife that he'll chat about anything, unfortunately his/her other half will then talk to others.....and hey presto Trouble...The sad thing is that he/her probably doesn't realise they're doing it....

The only safe way is Window shopping but no test drives....lol.DT_Xtremez_31:

 

[MyShineyAr$e]

Toughie, but I think Det Rules are a good concept. However totally agree with the problem about people not keeping their mouths shut.

I, myself would not need to rely on Det Rules as I am totally loved up, however I would not begrudge the need for it by others.

As for the Stud/Slag, harsh but fair.

 

[auchtermuchty]

Ahh the old detachment rules...

Personally, never needed them to protect me from indiscretions with the other sex. Have, however, regularly needed them to stop the people back in blighty finding out about the indiscretions that result in me spending the night in a turkish prison. (SHUDDER!!!) OK so they werent always prisons and not always in Turkey - in this instance however Det rules did me proud and I'm all for them.

I can understand the problems with them however and agree they shouldnt be trusted. If you are enjoying a night with some penguins when down south or camels in the desert, its best if only you and the 'animals' know!

 

[Stax]

They need to be taken in context. If the discovery of a detachment esapade is going to hurt someone then you probably shouldn't do it, if it was unavoidable (Turkish Prisons) then the rules should be strictly adhered to! I have seen the downside of the Det rules being broken, it wasn't nice. Only you can decide.

 

[The Masked Geek]

I agree with det rules in principal but when a minority of people abuse the protection of det rules and almost set up house with "other" women whilst on det, the failings of said rules become all too apparent.

 

[shiny_arse]

Clarification

Clarification

I appreciate that this topic throws up some dodgy views. To clarify why I dropped the thread let me expand somewhat:

Over the years I have been an active football and rugby player and ventured on many tours and trips. Now many a time there is a grouping in a bar and one of our loved up members libidos is activated and he is next seen busily dropping his tongue down some local slappers throat. Now in the old days nothing was seen, said or repeated.

These days on the other hand it is a different kettle of fish, there always appears to be a leak, snitch, miserable git et al who is straight on the blower to dish the dirt usually as it happens.

This conversation led to a heated debate throwing up the old cliches as "if he was happily married, engaged, seeing someone he wouldn't do it" and "well it's not like no-one else does it" and the old favourite of "well you don't crap on your own doorstep" so on and so forth.

I'm not trolling for stories here, it's just one of those topics that always lurks in the background, especially whilst on det or tour. So do you turn a blind eye, intervene or drop them in the kaka at the earliest opportunity?

 

[MyShineyAr$e]

As the Air Farce shrinks you would think that we would grow closer and into an even more tight nit community, but no. We don't seem to have the loyalty to our colleagues that maybe used to be more prevalent.

I think it boils down to the erosion of service life. No longer do we have room sharing, people finish work go to the cookhouse then head back to their pit, closing the door behind them. I beleive this is making the ties between us become looser and looser.

Also everybody has got cars now and weekends on a lot of camps are like ghost towns. It is becoming a 9-5 job and people aren't intested in living the life style anymore.

I look forward to excercises and dets because to me it is what the Military life is about. Sharing a room, crowding into a TV tent on the back of a crumbling block, mixing it with other trades and sections, are all things which build bonds.

But soon enough you are back in your unit with your door closed to the rest of the world. You soon find that you have little to talk about because you don't know what you have in common , so what do you talk about? You talk about what someone did on a det.........

 

[Twonston Pickle]

Det rules can be handy for some indiscretions with the local police but if someone has "set up home" with A.N OTHER female/male on det then maybe his/her mates should have a word rather than drop them in the poo. If they fail to head the warning from their mates then they deserve all they get!

 

[vim_fuego]

Personal point of view... What happens west of 10 west stays west of 10 west...end of. (re-arrange rule wording to suit your route!)

I may not agree with some of my colleagues shenanigans but it's their life and their choice.

 

[R_Squared]

This is always a hot topic, but I personally don't agree with it. I think most of the time it is destructive, and does nothing to help the quite appalling divorce rates in the forces! These days as well, with a large proportion of people having a 'Big Brother' gossiping attitude most 'indiscretions' are found out in fairly short order with the inevitable consequences. I personally have seen 3 marriages blown to bits by toss pots, who
a) couldn't keep it in their pants,
b) couldn't then keep their gobs shut!
If I see it going on, I have a word with those involved and leave it to them to sort out. I also make it very clear that I don't like it, so, best practice is to keep it out of my face.
When I first joined, I saw very little toleration for this sort of cr@p, and after having had to deal with the fallout, it has shaped my view to the negative.
Those involved are selfish, untrustworthy and hugely irresponsible. If they can't keep a simple promise to someone they supposedly love, how are we to trust them as service personnel?
Incidentally, Men and Women who cheat on their families are slags, end of.
Rant over.

 

[Hu Jardon]

Personal point of view... What happens west of 10 west stays west of 10 west...end of. (re-arrange rule wording to suit your route!)

I may not agree with some of my colleagues shenanigans but it's their life and their choice.

Well said Vim Fuego Sir - that is the exact same det rule (you only need the one) that was drummed into me the moment I arrived on my first Vulcan Sqn in the early 70's - it worked then and it should fnucking well work now.

The good thing about it in the old days was that the wives knew it existed and seemed to accept it as a sensible solution. In fact I remember one Gobby Chiefs Missus trying to spread a bit of the old malicious gossip and the CO’s wife hauled her in for a talking to. This was obviously in the days of carrier pigeons not mobile phones and when no one could afford to live anywhere but on quarters.

 

[Bitburger]

The sad thing is, in these days of camera phones it would seem that Det rules have died.

 

[auchtermuchty]

The sad thing is, in these days of camera phones it would seem that Det rules have died.

Not an unpredicted situation - ask any social scientists out there about the global village thoery.

 

[gemma]

hmmm?

hmmm?

I too have been on dets where there always seems to be people who have to take it too far, ie cohabiting for four months, taking their wedding rings off at bzz airport!. I think it's a personal choice, and the end of the day it boils down to, "How much have you got to lose?". I suppose if you are happy at home then you wouldn't do it. (Spoken like a true fairly newly wed) And for the record, my husband is on det.

 

[MyShineyAr$e]

And for the record, my husband is on det.

Are you worried at all. I don't for one second presume that your husband will cheat, hell I don't know him or you, but with all that you know about the military lifestyle, all the stories you have heard and all that you have maybe seen go on when you have been on det does it make you think about it more than if you were ignorant to 'det rules'?

 

[14bombhead]

Det Rules, well aye

Det Rules, well aye

Detatchements used to be about work hard and play harder, what happens away stays away. if you can't trust the guys your with then get some new mates!

Yes playing away can wreck relationships, but thats nobody elses business. You shoild not be telling tales on your return, by the way, if you ever find yourself alone on detatchment, when everyone one else has gone to a cracking bar/party or whatever, ask yourself why!

Det rules don't only apply to sexual indescretions, they apply to just about everything!

 

[R_Squared]

I find it quite courageous that you admit on a public forum that you are so spineless as to care whether people will or won't invite you to a party/ night out because you refuse to condone innapropriate behaviour. How do you then set an example to those who are your peers, subordinates and superiors and expect them to respect you? I think the 'friends' you will be left with are the untrustworthy backstabbers you seem to abhor. Especially if, as I already stated, they are happy to betray their supposed closest companions, I don't think you as a 'mate' will stand much chance of loyalty from that individual.
I don't actively 'seek out' any gossip, nor do I expect people to include me in their sewing circles, and quite frankly I could care less, however, This Detatchment Rules has had its day. It was and is an adulterers charter, designed to help those who choose to cheat to keep everyone else quiet and make it acceptable. I think you'd find it bl**dy hard explaining the concept to a child who's parents are splitting up because someone else 'thought they could get away with it' and some gob****e opened their big mouth.
nuff said by mr holier than thou I think, I need a lie down.

 

[Barney]

I don't see how in one moment somebody can think so little of their spouse/partner as to play away and then the next moment be so concerned as to have to hide behind a conspiracy of silence?

if you're going to have the fun then you're going to have to deal with the pain.

 

[Hu Jardon]

When did this turn into Padre's corner

Give me a break its the crewroom

Hu