In need of some advice please

[youngjenkins]

Good evening all,
Before anyone comes out with the line 'man up', years ago I would have layed this person out no questions asked, I've got to be the bigger man now and be responsible. Now to the question, I won't give specific details but any help anyone could suggest would be great.

I have a problem in my chain of command that no one really knows about (as such), not even me until yesterday.

This person happened to leave themself logged on with an email showing to a colleague in the office. This email slated me and had words in there that usually would have involved a hospital trip for them and a swift arm of the law for me.

There has been a problem in the workplace for a long time now, morale is very low due to certain reasons, no direction being one of them.

Anyway, I decided to try and step up to the mark and gather the troops together and get some sort of dialogue going, the present situation could no longer go on. We had a section meeting involving all ranks and it seemed to clear the air, or so we all thought. We discussed our problems and gave solutions to them, some simple and some not so simple. The buzz around the place afterwards was great.

Except this certain person, who didn't have the minerals to say anything at the meeting, then decided to have a go behind my back saying I was undermining them, out of control and frankly a disgrace and untrustworthy. Fair enough you might say (but the discussion was from everyone, unfortunately I was the spokesman and clearly stated the fact that this wasn't from me, but if they wanted to know what was from me I would gladly tell them in private) and this was the person who wanted the meeting instigated in the first place.

However, upon hearing this I confronted the said person and asked them to be honest, grow a pair and explain what they had been saying. Could they do it, not a chance? The word shi*ting brick comes to mind. I then proceeded to tell them what I had been told and gave ample opportunity to admit it. However, the slate was apparently wiped clean and I got on with doing what I'm paid to do.

Only to find yesterday this message that stated such things as 'I read youngjenkins the riot act and they wont step out of line again', 'the snake has been backstabbing me', 'he must be sleeping with the boss as he's so far up their a*se', 'he's taking credit for all the hard work I've done' (I finished a job they started 3 years ago basically, and worked 16 hour days to get it done right, but never once did I take a single bit of credit, in fact I deflected attention away from me and I said it was the whole team that finished the job, it just happened that I was the one they saw most), ''he's leaving snail marks everywhere he goes'.

So basically, because I have the backbone to stand up and do my job (and in no way ever was I disrespectful), because when I hear I'm getting stabbed I deal with the situation like a man and not a coward, this person has now got a vendetta.

The real funny thing is though, they have no trust whatsoever from below or above, has no idea about the job or how to manage, I stick up for this person day in day out and fight their corner, and still this happens. I make no song and dance about doing the work they should be doing.

Now I dont feel bullied or harrassed, as not once have I, or will I be intimidated by this person, and this person since I've known them has always had it in for someone, it just happens to be me now.

What do you guys and girls think I should do? They are a higher rank which only means they've got further to fall. I don't want this to happen, but if nothing gets sorted soonest I'm going to resort to decking them. Please help before I ruin not only them, but me and my families life

Thanks all in anticipation YJ

 

[snowball1]

Gave up reading, as my eyes hurt due lack of paragraphs!

 

[pie sandwich]

You could always just mention in passing that it's always best to make sure you log off or shut down any programs he is using on the computer or anyone could see who and what he has been emailing, perhaps with a sly reference to the other day around what ever time it was when you saw the email.
That should get him thinking,

 

[Spearmint]

Right, I stuck it through and managed to read your post to the end. (Seriously though, paragraphs mate. DT_Xtremez_26

How much higher is he? Is he a Commisioned Officer while you are rank and file?

Have you thought about having a responsible third party present between you both with no prior knowledge of this situation for a spot of 'Mediation'?

 

[Killer Queen]

I am afraid that i might not give you an suitable answer but here my thoughts. I have been in a similar situation though.

One thing is to once again make them aware of your feelings/knowledge and if it is brought to your attention again you will by pass and go to a suitably ranked/qualified (ie. there boss or out side the direct management chain if going to the management chain is not possible).

I wish you all the best

 

[youngjenkins]

Right, I stuck it through and managed to read your post to the end. (Seriously though, paragraphs mate. DT_Xtremez_26

How much higher is he? Is he a Commisioned Officer while you are rank and file?

Have you thought about having a responsible third party present between you both with no prior knowledge of this situation for a spot of 'Mediation'?

Apologies for no paragraphs and thank you for sticking with it.

They are of the airman ilk and only one rung up.

I have thought about mediation, that was my line of thought. However, I was thinking that they would think it was another opportunity to have a 'dig', but this time in front of someone else?

 

[4everAD]

Sounds a bit gay but a flyer from RAF mediation landed in our office yesterday.
Impartial,confidential and free etc They come in to sought this sort of thing out so keeping the CoC out of it. Might be worth a go suggesting it, at the very least it will look bad on the other guy if he refuses to attempt mediation.

Good luck.

Edit: Sorry replied as you were writing your reply to last!

 

[youngjenkins]

I am afraid that i might not give you an suitable answer but here my thoughts. I have been in a similar situation though.

One thing is to once again make them aware of your feelings/knowledge and if it is brought to your attention again you will by pass and go to a suitably ranked/qualified (ie. there boss or out side the direct management chain if going to the management chain is not possible).

I wish you all the best

Thankyou very much. The situation is difficult for a variety of reasons.

I was unsure whether or not to approach the next level of my command chain, give them the heads up on what I'm planning on doing and then basically have a constructive all out, no rank discussion?

It really peeves me though, on another day gone back I would have had this sorted by now one way or the other, but I cant let not only myself down, but the whole team. Our very senior management already have a low opinion of us, and me rocking the boat will have a massive knock on to the team, the very team I'm trying to piece back together.

 

[youngjenkins]

Sounds a bit gay but a flyer from RAF mediation landed in our office yesterday.
Impartial,confidential and free etc They come in to sought this sort of thing out so keeping the CoC out of it. Might be worth a go suggesting it, at the very least it will look bad on the other guy if he refuses to attempt mediation.

Good luck.

Edit: Sorry replied as you were writing your reply to last!

Thanks for the info. I am looking down this route to be honest, or one similar.

Do you think if I did I should warn the CoC out of respect? The last thing I think they'd want is this team turning up, without me first approaching them. Would this just add fuel to the fire, as in 'I told you youngjenkins was a backstabber'?

 

[monobrow]

The whole purpose of mediation is that issues are resolved quickly and at the lowest rank possible. If you want to put forward a case though start making specific notes of what is going on. Facts are undenyable whereas opinions are.

 

[youngjenkins]

The whole purpose of mediation is that issues are resolved quickly and at the lowest rank possible. If you want to put forward a case though start making specific notes of what is going on. Facts are undenyable whereas opinions are.

Luckily I kept a copy of said email. I'm unsure whether this is right or wrong though?

I am going to start and detail every little passing now, no matter how big or small

 

[KingGuin]

Cognisant there are always 2 sides to every story I believe there are
2 issues here dude.

The first is one of leadership; or indeed lack of it. From your perception (and it would appear that of your peers) there seems to be a lack of leadership across the board. That in turn impacts on performance and morale. You rightly chose to address the situation and then represent the consensus. Whilst admirable, there was always going to be a chance you would be seen to be a gobby plum boy. However if you have represented the majority and had no reaction then you need to either illicit help of a higher rank or take it to your Flt Cdr yourself. If you do this correctly and devoid of emotion remaining factual, polite and respectfull, you will be listened to. If that fails then speak to your Chf Clk.

2nd issue. Officially you dont have a leg to stand on in regard to the comments on the e-mail. You shouldn't have read it and the opinions expressed therein are subjective and personal. I know you probably want to spark him out but I agree with Pie, a subtle placed comment about locking his PC should do the trick.

Years ago I would have rimmed his cup and set fire to him but old age has calmed me down - allegedly.

 

[KingGuin]

Luckily I kept a copy of said email. I'm unsure whether this is right or wrong though?

I am going to start and detail every little passing now, no matter how big or small

Utterly wrong fellah. If you admit that publically you'll be hung out to dry.
I know he left it unlocked but............................

 

[raflad67]

To be honest I would mediate too:

WITH A BASEBALL BAT ON HIS KNEES TO START WITH!!

 

[vim_fuego]

First thing I would have done is email a copy of the offending item to myself so I had a copy to use in the future...

So the email was going from this 'character' to whom? How do you know what opinion your bosses have of you? Its sounds unlikely or very unprofessional of them to come out and say 'we hate you lot' so perhaps you are undervaluing them in this case...

I would approach the person who is mud-slinging...make them aware that you know what they are saying about you by using a few quotes from what you have seen then invite them to join you in a 3-way meeting between him, you and your boss where he can explain his accusations and you can defend your actions...Chances are anyone who uses such terminology as 'the snake has been back-stabbing me' has a maturity and self-confidence issue...If he hasn't finished a task given to him in 3 years he's probably not very proficient at his job (and this may weigh heavily on him) so he'll look to blame anyone to deflect criticism and he very probably won't relish actually airing his failures infront of his line managers...

That all said you'll have to step very carefully when you're on the cusp of making someone a rank above you look like an incompetant tit...You let them hang themselves by watching them over-engineer their answers, making up over-blown answers whilst implicating everyone but themselves...I always find that decent people who have fecked up take it on the chin...weasles duck and dive...

 

[youngjenkins]

Utterly wrong fellah. If you admit that publically you'll be hung out to dry.
I know he left it unlocked but............................

I totally agree with everything you say on both posts. Maybe I should have kept quiet and left my head in the sand like others, but I know I have a responsibility to my team and the Air Force as a whole. If I did not raise concerns I would not be doing my job.

It was done for several reasons, mainly because the place was falling apart, mostly because I was asked by the hierarchy (including this person).

I shoulder some of the blame for the state of things and by no means am I perfect. There are 2 sides and this other person would maybe take a different view? I don't know because when given the chance to air views (cards on the table approach), they totally folded. It was just me and them, I was not threatening or argumentative, I asked for honesty and for discussion. They stated there was not really a problem and we should start again, only for this to happen.

I could always get posted away I suppose? It's not in my nature to walk away from a problem, but the hassle I might cause others have to be taken into account

 

[youngjenkins]

First thing I would have done is email a copy of the offending item to myself so I had a copy to use in the future...

So the email was going from this 'character' to whom? How do you know what opinion your bosses have of you? Its sounds unlikely or very unprofessional of them to come out and say 'we hate you lot' so perhaps you are undervaluing them in this case...

A civilian who works with us. Maybe I am undervaluing them a little, but there is something else going on in the section to do with another person and the higher management that I really really cant go into, but I can guarantee it would answer that question. It is totally seperate from this though.

I would approach the person who is mud-slinging...make them aware that you know what they are saying about you by using a few quotes from what you have seen then invite them to join you in a 3-way meeting between him, you and your boss where he can explain his accusations and you can defend your actions...Chances are anyone who uses such terminology as 'the snake has been back-stabbing me' has a maturity and self-confidence issue...If he hasn't finished a task given to him in 3 years he's probably not very proficient at his job (and this may weigh heavily on him) so he'll look to blame anyone to deflect criticism and he very probably won't relish actually airing his failures infront of his line managers...

I have to agree, but then again I would

That all said you'll have to step very carefully when you're on the cusp of making someone a rank above you look like an incompetant tit...You let them hang themselves by watching them over-engineer their answers, making up over-blown answers whilst implicating everyone but themselves...I always find that decent people who have fecked up take it on the chin...weasles duck and dive...

I could definately let them hang themselves just by plainly bringing up facts and not hear say

 

[gemarriott]

I know this advice is totally inadequate and not approved of in todays fair farce but I would look him square in the eye, tell him everything you know, what you suspect and offer him the chance to sort things out round the back of hangar, where i would have left my baseball bat in a convenent but concealed spot.

 

[MrMasher]

Don't give up or back down whatever you do. Keep notes on everything that has happened. If you have someone on your side all the better.
Did you think of playing the harrassment card?
Have you discussed this with the next rank over him? If not, why not. If it's such an issue and you felt the need to sit down and put it on here, you need to do something about it.
You could always get yourself and a friend of rank, go see this dick and tell him your boss wants to see him. Both of you follow him into the office and then you blurt it all out with your witness present! Get out of that!!!














Or just punch the fcuker!

 

[grumpyoldb]

I know this advice is totally inadequate and not approved of in todays fair farce but I would look him square in the eye, tell him everything you know, what you suspect and offer him the chance to sort things out round the back of hangar, where i would have left my baseball bat in a convenent but concealed spot.

Sage advice from the old school. Glasgow kiss from the hangar chief worked wonders. Oh I forgot. We're all PC and loveydovey now aren't we? DT_Xtremez_42: