Raf Myths

[JAFAD666]

Allegedly at Locking but if anyone knows the true origin I`d like to know.

AOC`s parade SWO is moving down the line giving it the usual "neck shave", "haircut", "shoes", " Tailor`s parade" etc. etc. He comes across a very dishevelled fitter and loses it.... jabs SAC in chest with pace stick and screams
" WTF is this piece of sh#t on the end of my stick". SAC dontgiveafcuk replies " don`t know sir but its not on my end" whole parade falls about laughing SWO
has to leave cos he`s lost control. Even the Dicip Cpl`s were biting their lip alla
Life of Bwian.

Thats how it was relayed to me. So can anyone confirm or deny this happened and where.
Or is it indeed a Myth ?

And more importantly, has anyone got other RAF folklore that is true or not or needs a location confirming.

The other one I would like confirming is of a TG5 leccy who was trying to work his ticket by throwing slices of bread to the wessex`s coming in to land in Cyprus.
I dont believe that one but, if you know different.

(Wobbly and or moderators please feel free to move this if its in the wrong place. I`ve looked and haven`t found a similar thread, but apologies if there is.)

 

[vim_fuego]

I seem to remember there was but I haven't found it yet...if we do we'll merge them..

Vim

 

[firestorm]

A mate of mine from the marines once told me this.
During a parade practice his weapon (oo er) was inspected by the RSM. "What ****in **** do I see down inside this weapon?!"
My mate looks down it and says, "Sgts mess?"
He was bruised but a hero.

 

[jaydeeare]

One 1 o' clock Parade (well a roll call actually) at GRIS (REU Henlow). We'd all had a few too many lunchtime beers. Flight Sgt decided to have a snap inspection. Stands in front of a J/T whose badge had worn a hole in his beret. Flt. Sgt. asks, "What's that hole doing in your beret?" J/T removes his beret, looks inside, looks up at the Flt. Sgt and replies, "That's where I put my head, Flight."

True story!

 

[enginesuck]

My female boss came up to me at work the other day and said 'Enginesuck ive nominated you for a sexual harrasment brief next thursday' Me says ' ****ing women....' She didnt get it.... Oh wellDT_Xtremez_34:

 

[Chaka]

Try this one.

Officer of a least Sqn Ldr level walks into your room and says 'Oh I really would love a cup of tea' as they do, hint hint.

Hand him/her your cup and say 'Me too Sir/Ma'am, tea white none please'DT_Xtremez_03:

Guaranteed to get you a week out of work down the guard hut.

 

[skevans]

Allegedly at Locking but if anyone knows the true origin I`d like to know.

AOC`s parade SWO is moving down the line giving it the usual "neck shave", "haircut", "shoes", " Tailor`s parade" etc. etc. He comes across a very dishevelled fitter and loses it.... jabs SAC in chest with pace stick and screams
" WTF is this piece of sh#t on the end of my stick". SAC dontgiveafcuk replies " don`t know sir but its not on my end" whole parade falls about laughing SWO
has to leave cos he`s lost control. Even the Dicip Cpl`s were biting their lip alla
Life of Bwian.

Thats how it was relayed to me. So can anyone confirm or deny this happened and where.
Or is it indeed a Myth ?

I have spoken with at least 10 people who all claim that this happened at their camps. I think it's a total myth.

I do know of one fire service myth that goes like this.

A crew are called to rescue a cat up a tree. After quite a bit of hassle they get the cat down and return it to its owner. However as they drive away the cat leaps straight out of the owners arms and gets flattened by the fire truck.

Once again I have heard this from numerous people. It must have been a big truck because my last count said there were 13 drivers!

*edit = typo!

 

[JFOM]

Low flying complaint at a unit V close to London after a Spitfire flying display:

Female complainant: Aircraft flying really low, noisy blah blah blah!

Sqn Ldr Ops: Really ..... was it low?

Complainant: Yes, really low.

Sqn Ldr Ops: Was it loud?

Complainant: Yes really loud!

Sqn Ldr Ops: Well that is the sound of freedom my love!! CLICK!!!!

Heard this from someone that was there, but it's not normal for a Sqn Ldr to answer a low flying complaint so could be bo11ox! But I would LOVE it to be true!

 

[Rebel without A Clue]

I'm sure I'm not the only one to hear of this one, but I was once told a story about a C130 crew flying out to Red Flag, who took a trip down the Vegas Strip and sauntered into one of the casinos. In this casino, customers swiped their credit cards and their credit limits were displayed on a huge electronic scoreboard. So there's all these people swiping their cards, with $10 Million, $5 Million and so forth. The Herc Captain suddenly has a brainwave "I wonder what the company Amex card has on it..." He hands it to the dolly bird on the desk who swipes the card. Electronic scoreboard promptly displays "UNLIMITED". Much admiration and action from cash hungry Yank birds and jealousy from Yank millionaires follow...

I've heard this a few times from different people. Can anyone confirm the truth behind this dit?

 

[Billy Whizz]

JPA works!!!!!!!DT_Xtremez_25:

 

[vim_fuego]

JPA works!!!!!!!DT_Xtremez_25:

No it does not....you sure you posted in the right thread?

 

[Rebel without A Clue]

JPA works!!!!!!!DT_Xtremez_25:

Come on mate, have a word with yourself. We're after myths and legends - don't take the pi55.

 

[Oh sir]

I've long been amused by this one.....

RAF scuffer gets bored doing radar speed checks. Thinks: "Hmm, wonder what speed a Tonka / Bucc / F3 / etc (depending on story) gets up to?"

Points speed gun at said aircraft. (Having been trained never to do this mind..)

End of story is that said plod gets charged / bombed / flared etc.

I've heard it in all it's various guises. Also heard it applied to the yank cops, and also the Iraqi plod during Gulf 1, where the said plod gets missiled.

It's so old, it's in a home!

 

[dantura]

Marham late 80's early 90's, now not sure how exaggerated it is but,

SWO, O mess parade, marches off the parade but does not move himself.

Still stood rigidly to attention a short while later when a JO sees him and saunters over and says, "Mr xxxx, I think you can leave now, your parade has long gone".

SWO replies, "Sir, I can't F*cking move, 'cause I'm having a f*cking heart attack, now get me a F*cking ambulance".

Now if that's true, then it's sure dedication to duty, standing to attention whilst the ticker goes into overdrive!



D

 

[skevans]

I've long been amused by this one.....

RAF scuffer gets bored doing radar speed checks. Thinks: "Hmm, wonder what speed a Tonka / Bucc / F3 / etc (depending on story) gets up to?"

Points speed gun at said aircraft. (Having been trained never to do this mind..)

End of story is that said plod gets charged / bombed / flared etc.

I've heard it in all it's various guises. Also heard it applied to the yank cops, and also the Iraqi plod during Gulf 1, where the said plod gets missiled.

It's so old, it's in a home!

I have heard that one too. funny old think it was from a snowdrop who had just returned from her first OOA.

 

[JAFAD666]

I have spoken with at least 10 people who all claim that this happened at their camps. I think it's a total myth.

I do know of one fre service myth that goes like this.

A crew are called to rescue a cat up a tree. After quite a bit of hassle they get the cat down and return it to its owner. However as they drive away the cat leaps straight out of the owners arms and gets flattened by the fire truck.

Once again I have heard this from numerous people. It must have been a big truck because my last count said there were 13 drivers!

Class skevans, thats exactly what I was after, heard the cat one too and agree, more than likely a myth.

 

[JAFAD666]

Class skevans, thats exactly what I was after, heard the cat one too and agree, more than likely a myth.

Mid to late 80`s, Laar/Brug don`t know which. 2 disgruntled TG5 heavies pinch the SWO`s dog (white english bull terrier) paint a roundel on either side of it and tie tin cans to it`s tail, then release it across the parade ground just as the PA anoucer is warming up the crowd for the fly past.

Was anyone there, or is it a Myth.

 

[loafing]

I've long been amused by this one.....

RAF scuffer gets bored doing radar speed checks. Thinks: "Hmm, wonder what speed a Tonka / Bucc / F3 / etc (depending on story) gets up to?"

Points speed gun at said aircraft. (Having been trained never to do this mind..)

End of story is that said plod gets charged / bombed / flared etc.

I've heard it in all it's various guises. Also heard it applied to the yank cops, and also the Iraqi plod during Gulf 1, where the said plod gets missiled.

It's so old, it's in a home!

The true story is as follows:

GR7 low level in UK was 'speed checked' by civilian copper. Result was his radar gun being 'jammed' by the jets EW kit (jet was prepping to head OOA & had been through Spade). Radar gun never worked again & it permanentely read 450 (or something close to that number) on its display.

 

[DrunkenMonki]

Heard one about pished snowdrops wheel clamping a jet nosewheel, then wandering off pished and forgetting to remove it. True?

 

[Scaley brat]

I do know of one fre service myth that goes like this.

A crew are called to rescue a cat up a tree. After quite a bit of hassle they get the cat down and return it to its owner. However as they drive away the cat leaps straight out of the owners arms and gets flattened by the fire truck.

Once again I have heard this from numerous people. It must have been a big truck because my last count said there were 13 drivers!

Not a myth, it happened to an old lady in North Wales, made the DLT breakfast show..... date that tale