Some birds are sooo stupid

[MyShineyAr$e]

Get this. I was speaking to my sister t'other day who lives in Germany with her Pongo husband. She lives in a block of flats on the bottom floor.

On Saturday her upstairs neighbour (I will refer to her as Stupid, you will see why later) came to see her. Stupid tells my sister she has a problem. It turns out that Stupids husband has been raping her. This has been going on for some time, and Stupid has had enough of it. Stupid tells her husband that she has had enough and wants it to stop or she will tell the police. He then threatens to kill their baby if she does. Quite serious so far, and not something I would make light about, but bear with me.

So despite the threat, Stupid has had the courage to tell someone, not the police, but my sister. So my sister gets straight on the blower to the RMP, who xome around to investigate. They decide to remove Stupid from her home and make her safe somewhere. Good, you may be thinking. Not so good is husband coming home, to find Stupid gone, then coming down to my sisters demanding to know whats going on. Nothing happens and he toddles of home.

So to summarise, Stupid is getting Raped by her husband who threatens to kill their baby, she gets moved out for her own safety. 2 days later she is back in the flat as if nothing has ever happened!!

Now to justify the Stupid label. Why oh why do women do it to themselves. Get abused like this but go back to the abuser? I just can't fathom it. Surely you must realise that the man isn't going to change long term?

 

[The Masked Geek]

It's probably the dependancy forced upon the abuse weakened mind.

 

[JoJo82]

Some people in this type of situation feel they can not find a better life, hope she'll see sense before it's too late (If it's true what stupid said).

 

[wolfy]

Lets hope stupid gets what he deserves.

 

[Scaley brat]

Lets hope stupid gets what he deserves.

Er Wolfy..... I think Stupid is the bird upstairs !

 

[wolfy]

Er Wolfy..... I think Stupid is the bird upstairs !

Stand corrected Scaley, I just had it my mind how stupid a bloke could be when I was typing. It was not my intention to pour scorn on the abused women.

 

[Tonka617]

As Mrs Gump said "stupid is as stupid does"DT_Xtremez_09:

 

[laboratoryqueen]

From outside of the situation it's easy to look in and see stupidity, however, when actually in the situation you only see and believe what you are told, and when told something often enough you do believe it with every ounce of your soul. Abuse of any kind hardly ever begins from the moment of a relationship starting, it builds up gradually, first off with removing all outside influence to which the abused person can turn to for support, friends, family anyone. The abuser works on their victim, making them believe that they are useless, and are nothing without them, and yes in time you believe them, as they have become your whole world, universe in some respects, especially when children are involved.

The abused even makes a show to the outside world that all is perfect, they know it's wrong, they know they need help but they hate the fact of what has been done to them, and yet they feel so inadequate to cope or to deal with the feeling of being damaged goods, and of having people see them in that way and to think of them for being stupid for staying for so long.

At least she has taken a step in telling someone, your sister, about what is happening, and yes she has gone back, she will do many times until something inside snaps and she feels completely that she's had enough. You never feel like a victim at the time, that comes afterwards once you have got out, and it's so easy to get back in. The tales they spin to have you back, the love they promise, they offer everything you crave, and you want that more than anything, just to feel normal and not like a victim.

Until she sees that it won't ever change, and until she gets the inner strength to stand alone and to not only say no more, but to actually mean it, she'll always go back, but what she needs most now is support, and to start feeling like she's not alone and that she's not stupid, cos she'll be getting told that enough at home.

 

[Mrs_Monobrow]

Very well said LQ.

I have never been that kind of situation but i understand what you mean. It like any situation where you get into that vicious circle. Hopefully one day, this woman will find the strength to break free, for herself and her child.