A Lesson in Mess Protocol - "Mr Vice, The Queen"

[The Fact Hunter]

I have simply got to share this gem from earlier this week - ...but esp for the Crimpoline Club

To start with - and for the un-initiated of course - at a 'Formal' mess 'do', once the 'eating the food bit' is over, everything is now cleared away in front of you excepting a small glass of port.

It is then 'normal' for 'Mr President' to nod to 'Mr Vice' - Aka the 'new' boy- who will proffer the toast 'The Queen' and the Loyal Toast is made. (Navy sit, RAF & Army Stand)

Now fortunately for the 'victim', this particular occasion was only a small 'do' with only 20 or so members 'dining in'

So, the appointed time arrived, the nod was made,

'Mr Vice', - a relatively young 'early 30's' Chief Petty Officer on this occasion (so remember thats an RAF CT/FS equivalent - apparently !!)

....who obviously had not been briefed by his 'mates' in anyway - cos he just ...

...looked around the table at us watching him, then simply picked up his glass and ....necked it !!

Well, after the initial stunned shock of jaws hitting the table which was shortly followed by all the howling and guffawing eventually died down, it fell upon me as next in line to proffer the toast, which was an ordeal I can tell you, but decorum was restored for the 5 seconds or so it took...

Anyhow ....the chap has now:-

1. Been educated
2. Provided entertainment - (not seen anything like that in 15 yrs in the mess !)
3. Nearly filled a port locker all by himself from the Pres's port fine!


Priceless !

 

[rugby then work]

How had he made it to CPO and never been to a mess do before, surely he would have seen it done while he was a PO. Also bad admin on behalf of the CMC (or PMC), who should have briefed Mr Vice before the event.

 

[enginesuck]

wow amazing DT_Xtremez_21:

 

[Late & Tired]

How had he made it to CPO and never been to a mess do before, surely he would have seen it done while he was a PO. Also bad admin on behalf of the CMC (or PMC), who should have briefed Mr Vice before the event.

Aah, Senior Service eh? DT_Xtremez_17:

 

[mad_collie]

How had he made it to CPO and never been to a mess do before, surely he would have seen it done while he was a PO. Also bad admin on behalf of the CMC (or PMC), who should have briefed Mr Vice before the event.

Fairs fair, RTW.

The CMC will normally just ask Mr Vice if he knows what the score is, if Mr Vice tells him he knows what to do, thats that.

This bloke had probably asked his work colleagues what he should do, and for reasons beyond my comprehension DT_Xtremez_14: they may have 'inadvertently' told him just to neck the port, as it is RAF tradition.

 

[rugby then work]

Fairs fair, RTW.

The CMC will normally just ask Mr Vice if he knows what the score is, if Mr Vice tells him he knows what to do, thats that.

This bloke had probably asked his work colleagues what he should do, and for reasons beyond my comprehension DT_Xtremez_14: they may have 'inadvertently' told him just to neck the port, as it is RAF tradition.

Also RAF tradition to have a pint glass under the table to siphon off the port as it comes past. Just dont mistake it for the pint glass you've used due to lack of comfort breaks.DT_Xtremez_09:

Still amazes me that the bloke was a CPO and hadn't seen the loyal toast done before.

 

[Fablon biff chit]

Well, after the initial stunned shock of jaws hitting the table which was shortly followed by all the howling and guffawing eventually died down, it fell upon me as next in line to proffer the toast, which was an ordeal I can tell you, but decorum was restored for the 5 seconds or so it took...

As a smally, I find myself having read that and thinking WTF are you going on about?

 

[230Tiger]

As a smally, I find myself having read that and thinking WTF are you going on about?

Don't worry about it, when you reach the dizzy heights of the crimpoline club you'll get the joke.

 

[The Fact Hunter]

How had he made it to CPO and never been to a mess do before, surely he would have seen it done while he was a PO. Also bad admin on behalf of the CMC (or PMC), who should have briefed Mr Vice before the event.

Some of 'em can 'get their buttons' (CPO) as early as 7-1/2 years in.

As 'Tiff's' (Articifers) they might only do a year or two as a PO.

Oh ....and I checked - he did get briefed ...cos he also managed to cock up saying grace as well (otherwise the Pres would'nt have been able to hit him with yet another - his first - fine) ...I think most of it was nerves ....but the port was just the absolute peach !

As I said, it was a small do and a good 'training exercise' for the bigger ones.

Your almost sure to 'get fined' for some rediculous reason...so as to replace the port you've just consumed

....mine was for 'balancing a slug on my top lip whilst giving the loyal toast'

Jealous of my moustache you see - they're not allowed to have one !

Good Bunch - but I say they still all stink of fish !!